Don’t what? Shut up.

I bumped into one of the nurses who saw me through ect the other day. She told me not to let depression get me down. If that isn’t already a medication advert catchphrase in the USA, it really ought to be. It should also be permitted for me to smack anyone who says it to me. Not that nurse though, because ag shame she was being genuinely nice. 

Don’t let depression get you down, don’t let conjunctivitis spoil your view, don’t let syphilis drive you mad… 

PS thanks for all your lovely comments on my last post. And my blog just turned two. Happy birthday, blog. 

I’m still alive

I just don’t know what to say. 

ECT update

Ugh.

Our Lived Experience

ECT 4 – while I was in the gurney waiting to be wheeled to theatre, a patient slapped my face (not very hard). I said to a nurse, “I don’t know why she did that.” The nurse said, “even she doesn’t know why.” In theatre, I overheard Shrink Two saying that I hadn’t had a sustained seizure thus far.

ECT 5 – I woke up in tears from the anaesthetic. Shrink Two told me they increased the voltage of the ECT. She also cautioned me not to get despondent at this stage. It’s too late, I’m despondent.

ECT 6 – woke in tears again and confused. Spent the drive home telling myself not to off myself. I’m not a happy person.

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Another Electroconvulsive Therapy Update

Lather, rinse, repeat. FML.

Our Lived Experience

I’ve had three sessions of ECT so far, nine to go. Apparently I’m having seizures the way I’m supposed to, I haven’t experienced anything more than very temporary, very short term memory loss. The muscle pain is minimal, there’s no nausea.

Leaving home at 05h30 to get there in time is downright unsociable, but infinitely preferable to being an inpatient. I still hate it though, a big part of me wants to quit (but I won’t). Today I got there at 06h30, in time for the patients’ usual morning informal and very off key hymn-along. I had my blood pressure, sugar and weight checked (I seem to be losing weight) and got changed into a hospital gown.

When I was wheeled into the theatre waiting area, the blood pressure cuff went on again. When I went into the theatre itself, I got one applied to my arm and one to…

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recent links about bipolar disorder

Be yourself. Don’t be evil. Show a little empathy. (Jón Gnarr)

Pick of the week is this –

“… the honesty- part of vulnerability- is allowing people to see the whole picture”
Mary Lambert Gets Real About Living With Bipolar Disorder

On the subject of the Orlando shootings…

“Ex-wife called Omar Mateen “bipolar” — but throwing term around erroneously is dangerous”
Was shooter’s ex-wife right to call him ‘bipolar’?

“My father’s unconventional way of thinking showed me that it is possible to construct the life you want, and assured me that it was ok to stand out from the crowd.”
My Father’s Bipolar Disorder Made My Life Better

““Bipolar,” it seems, has become a laugh line. An exaggeration of the basic concept of opposites, like up and down, or hot and cold.”
Bipolar disorder is nothing to make light of

“When you’re dating someone like me — someone with bipolar disorder  — you have to be ready for a bumpy ride. We are extreme. You’ll never be loved harder or shown more affection in your entire life. We’ll shower you with gifts, love letters and all of your favorite things.”
This Is Exactly What Someone With Bipolar Disorder Needs From A Relationship

I recommend the next article highly too.

“I woke up alone in the car I live in to a flat tire. My immediate resolution for the day was to decide how best to kill myself. It sounds extreme, I know; but that’s exactly what living with bipolar disorder is like for me.”
I Have Bipolar Disorder & This Is What A Mixed Episode Feels Like For Me

Bipolar Disorder Makes Me Stronger For My Boys

5 Mental Health Disorders That Are Often Misdiagnosed

Scott Stapp Opens Up About Battling Addiction & Bipolar Disorder, Possible Creed Reunion (podcast)

Maybe some inspiration for those of you writing your memoirs here. It sez she turned her blog into a book.

Research
Bipolar Disorder May Have Genetic Links to Autism, Schizophrenia
Altered circadian somatostatin expression linked to bipolar disorder