I’m still alive 

I just don’t know what to say. 

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Published by

blahpolar

battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

31 thoughts on “I’m still alive ”

  1. Hi,

    I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately. So glad to hear from you. I have wanted to do a free Reiki healing energy session for you once a week for the past few weeks but wanted to ask, would be okay with you?

    Thinking of you and sending good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So glad to hear it. We will all be around on the day you feel up to saying more (and it WILL happen). Be as kind to yourself in the meantime, as is possible. ((hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You hang in there my friend and stay alive! Have been missing you and holding you very dearly in my thoughts and am absolutely over the moon to hear from you! Sending you all my love and a super-huge, gigantic bear hug!!! – S. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So glad you shared this with us, I was just saying to myself I have met and lost so many especially online to these mental illnesses with their ups and downs. All the best from my end of the continent my dear

    Liked by 1 person

  5. New paths await you. Sometimes it is time to make a change and try a new adventure.
    Just because something does not work out the way you wanted, does not mean that there is nothing that will work out.
    Our disappointments and disillusion can drive us toward a more important , more significant path and new ventures.
    You are gifted with intelligence and a unique voice. There are still more people that would love to connect with your mind and spirit.
    Maybe a YouTube channel. You could disguise yourself if you wish…or just show visuals along with your voice.
    You can find a way to move someplace else. A new house, a new town, a new country.
    You have to change your routine and create a new path to give you things you want to complete…or keep doing…a mission…a purpose.

    Your voice and your humor and eloquence of speech are gifts you can share. There are people stuck and waiting for something to validate their reality. You have a great talent for being compassionate to the suffering of others…and for sharing your realities with others in a way people enjoy hearing..reading…watching..

    There is a new path for you. Try to detach from the story thus far…And momentarily see through watching eyes. …the way is near you…you just need new eyes to see.. Observe as if you are watching the story in the movies….where are the paths that the character isn’t seeing?
    What are her possibilities that she does not feel capable of , yet she is?
    Who is this character , when you see her aside from the events, situations and the story line?
    What new story would she thrive in because of who she is…not what story she has been stuck in?
    Write a completely new script.
    Fuck the old script. Others wrote that one and programmed you with the lines to say.
    What would you do if you could write your own script?
    Where is your heart calling you?
    As you focus inside you will see a new vision and realize that the illusion others have subjected you to is not real . Go inside and find your resilience and creative power to manifest a path under you feet as they touch the ground …or walk the halls ..of new places..and connect with new people..who you will realize have been awaiting your arrival.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. *sigh* I skimmed down all the comments on the page. I can’t be super positive for you, or spout any wisdom. I’m too gut-sick over knowing nothing’s changed for you. If every single one of us feels it’s been too long since we’ve heard from you, it’s got to feel ten times longer from your side. And honestly, it shakes my faith. I can’t imagine any scenario where you deserve to continue suffering in this manner. If such a great injustice is allowed to happen in the Universe, well… Like I said, it shakes my faith – what little I have. Love to you, always.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Some of you read my rambling blog post that I wrote a few days ago about Ulla, so I’ll keep my comment here brief. Your comments are amazing. I’ll continue to read them throughout the day. I’m so proud to be connected with people like you – and I’m not surprised in the least that Ulla drew such cool folks to her like a magnet. Xo

    Liked by 2 people

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