an up date

So today was fun. When last did I say that? It was probably hypomania, but fuck it, I’ll take it. I imagine that if you have bipolar ii, coming down from hypo would be a crash, but I don’t experience it that way. To me it just feels like disappointment. That’s irrelevant for now, because I haven’t crashed slumped. Somewhere round 9pm I thought hrmm this is nice; I’m weary and a tiny bit sunburned (I love that gentle glow, don’t you?) and goodness me I do declare I just yawned. So I went to bed and *doink* motherfucking nasty sneaky RLS (restless leg syndrome aka Willis-Ekbom Disease, a fucking horrible neurological thing). The reliable antidote is to get up and wander about, which is great but not very bloody conducive to having a lovely, early sleep. Or any other flavour of sleep for that matter.

One of the strategies suggested is

“… avoiding substances or medications that may exacerbate RLS,” source

to which I’d like to respond thus,

aaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I’m on psych meds mofo!!

So I’m wide awake again, because ugh RLS feels vile. It’s freaking irritating. Get up, walk, move, feel annoyed that as soon as I stop, it starts again.

But today…. Today was the good. And that’s a victory.

Published by


battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

60 thoughts on “an up date”

  1. I have RLS something fierce. I couldn’t take Zyprexa because the side effects made my RLS so bad it was actually painful. I have found that, on occasion, stretching my legs to nearly hyperextension has helped somewhat. I’ve tried quinine and I currently take a high dosage of neurontin which helps if I take it before the symptoms get going really hard. Sometimes a glass of red wine will help. (The only thing I have ever tried which has worked 100% of the time is pot, which, not so easy to come by)

    I’m glad you had a great day! It’s always so nice to hear when someone in the tribe has a successful day. Here’s hoping tomorrow is just as nice!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I first experienced it about five years ago, during venlafaxine withdrawal, and since then it’s been a sporadic thing. I’m told that iron and magnesium is good for it, but I keep forgetting to take them. Must look into neurontin – I gave up alcohol and weed three years back. So boring of me.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I get akathesia in my legs, which is similar, as side effect to soooo many meds…most irritating thing EVER, yes. The only thing that helps me is to get up and walk around, as well — or take more “anti-side effect meds.” Ha…I find THAT kind of amusing. Anti-side-effect-meds? :P

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol ja meds for the damn meds……. They call it science, but a lot of the time it feels as though they might as well be waving wands and muttering incantations.


  3. I’m so glad you had a good day!!!!! That is freakin’ great!! And does it have to be hypomania? Could it just be good? Just askin’….my pdoc gave me clonazepam for RLS and it helps quiet things down A LOT!! That shit will make you CRAZY!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’ll ask shrinks one and two about RLS (again) when I see them, thanks for that info. And agreed, idc what label does or doesn’t go on to a good mood on this occasion, because it’s been a long time coming. I try to keep a gentle eye on it though, because me and mania……. It is a very dangerous thing.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Well, I had a lovely weekend the 22-24, full of fun and love and emotion and honesty and reality. I should post about it, but I’m still basking in the after glow… ❤❤😊😊
        I’m sending you a good week 👍👍

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Yeehaaaaa!!!! A good day is a GOOD day! Take it, love it, use it! I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better!

    I hear you about coming down from hypomania… Very disappointing indeed. I could thrive on a bit of hypomania, because aside from the other symptoms of it, I believe the happiness is real 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. And RLS! Fuckin hell! I don’t get it often, but man is it annoying!!!! It’s like hiccups – puts me into an instant foul mood!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I hated it. I (had) anorexia since age 21 (‘stable’ for 15ish years). I’m still slightly underweight, which I like because I still have body dysmorphia,,,, seroquel made me start gaining weight. I stopped that SHIT COLD TURKEY n went to my regular weight!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. We are not separated at birth. I never had weight issues either way, then Seroquel made me put on weight and so have most meds since. I’m eating less than I was on clozapine, so I hope to lose se weight, er, without me actually having to do anything. I walk every morning and I want that to be enough lol.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy, happy! Except for the RLS mind you. Having enjoyed much more restricted med regime, I have never had that condition. But damn the tremors! Some days my hand shakes so badly I feel like a little old man. I think that’s a permanent effect too.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Good days are always a victory. They don’t happen as often as they should, in my opinion. I’m glad you had one! Even if you had to deal with the bloody RLS. *high five*

    Liked by 1 person

  8. “today was good” – FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!!!
    Sorry about the evil RLS – I’ve had that and words can’t describe how awful it is! Hope that goes away. Again, super-stoked to read the holy trinity of “today was good”!!!! !

    p.s. I’m starting *this* free, online Literature and Mental Health: Reading for Well Being course tomorrow and Stephen Fry is part of it….it sounds super-cool – check out the P.R. video

    Liked by 2 people

  9. p.p.s. I’ve been an Adam Ant fan for decades. He has suffered so much with bipolar disorder – I really enjoyed his memoir “Stand and Deliver”.

    Today I discovered this Adam Ant documentary “The Blueback Hussar”, which was released overseas in October 2015 – I don’t know why I didn’t find out about it until today, but better late than never. It actually screened here (in Los Angeles, where I am for the next few days) last week!

    I ordered the DVD as I couldn’t resist. Here’s the preview:

    Liked by 2 people

  10. p.p.s. Just had a crazy thought. (No, I’m not hypo nor espresso shotted- if anything I’m extremely down due to being around a very mentally ill parent)

    upon gazing at your teletubbies I envisioned them all dressed like Adam & the Ants in their prime.

    here’s yet another very interesting-looking program about Adam Ant battling bipolar disorder…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. We leave tomorrow… between her verbal/emotional abuse, seeing pictures of my dad fucking everywhere in this apartment, and sleeping five feet away from his vase of ashes, I have been crying so much my eyes look like someone else’s. Borderline personality disorder sucks to be around. She went from being good Friday, giving me hope, to batshit. I won’t go into the two public screaming matches I had in town when she went too far with me…at the market, and a parking lot…

        Sorry to vent. Thanks for being willing to go to bat for me!!! At least Lucy is here, and (no surprise) she brings out the absolute, most “normal” best in my mom. Too bad she couldn’t have an emotional support animal, but she doesn’t want to do that after a lifetime of caring for all kinds of pets.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Xoxo TY,V,VM
            On Saturday I got Pet Rescue Remedy tincture for Lucy (for stress, new situations, etc) can be used for rabbits, reptiles and horses too, but yours truly wanted to give it a go! Lucy is fine!

            Am soothing myself by watching first season of creepy x-files on my kindle. :) escape!

            Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol funding…. Autocorrect can be fun.

        And yes, psych meds bring with them a horrible array of side effects and that’s exacerbated (extended) by the fact that it’s chronic medication.


  11. I’m glad you had a good day, even if the end wasn’t ideal; when was the last good day you had? I don’t want to jinx the new meds but I’m crossing all my fungbers for you (wjich makes irg hard to type the resctg lol).

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’ve had RLS since I was a child. I finally started taking clonazepam for it when I was 39 (now I’m addicted to clonazepam but whatever). When I was on Latuda my RLS was non fucking stop and I have never wanted to take my own life more than during those weeks. I quit Latuda which was making me more mentally stable than I ever had been but it was that or tap dance my way into the fucking river. And as an aside, I come down from my hypomania sorta like you, like life is one great big disappointment. I’m catching on your posts from the top down so a lot of what I’m saying is most likely irrelevant by now. Sorry. I do care.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No idea. My mom always referred to it as growing pains…but clearly I’m not growing anymore…well not in height anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Two sporks up on the Teletubby graphic, my kid approved greatly.

    And yeah, with bipolar 2, mania is a crash landing into depression. But it comes with its own all consuming disappointment, too. I’d rather not know “up” if it’s just gonna glimpse my way and vanish.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I always hated meeting people during a manic episode…And they would of course, adore me and think me the most fun thing ever…Yet the instant the shrapnel started flying and I became a bummer…”I just can’t handle your mood swings.”
        Insult to injury, this bipolar bit is.

        Liked by 1 person

comment or the dragon will toast you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s