So now I’m three days into the olanzapine and fluoxetine meds regime. I prefer the word regime to cocktail, because meds generally seem to arrive in jackboots and take over my life. Also, there are no parasols or disgusting maraschino cherries in sight. I’ve gone from spending about two thirds of my life asleep, to being wide and wired awake most of the time. I don’t like it. I need some balance. I need some sleep too. I’m not going to freak though, I live a quiet life and in terms of avoiding mania, the odds are probably in my favour. I tend more towards mixed episodes anyway.
Anxiety is a well worn Möbius strip (oh lol autocorrect made it ‘strop’, how perfect) shaped warpath in my mind. It shall henceforth be known as the Möbius strop. Möbius trip, Möbius trope… It’s almost 1am and I’m sitting fretting about a friendship. Rumination, ruination.
Ugh I bore myself shitless too.
What if I don’t manage to get back into life properly? What if I’m stuck out here on the fucking perimeter? What what what the fuck.