the untamed snarkdump

Tis but a short linkdump this week – and not a sweet one. I’ll add trigger warnings to items I haven’t snarked at, mkay? Barring that, I’m in bad tempered bastard mode – lock up your sheep post haste and with alacrity. Actually let me add my pick of the nose week right here.

How I coped with Bipolar Disorder I love this article absolutely unreservedly, not least because it originates in the developing world (India in this case) and is thus of greater relevance to me than the first world stuff. It’s by Vijay Nallawala and as well as his own blog, he’s all over Bipolar India, which is a very cool site indeed. He’s pro psychiatry, medication and meditation and honestly, I’d far rather hear about meditation from him than from a boatload of Western mindfulness coaches. The mysticism isn’t my route, but I can respect his nonetheless. I really hope that the first world branch of the tribe will enjoy reading him too. I’m including a quote about a psychotic episode, which struck me as truly beautiful.

Vijay Nawallala
Vijay Nawallala

Okay fuck the sugar, let’s SNARK.

Every week, at least one celebrity saves us all from the stigma against bipolar. Usually it’s Demi Lovato (I’ve still never heard any of her songs), but this week we are graced by royalty. And by grace I mean condescension.

Princess Kate connects with bipolar teen saying, “did you find it hard to tell your mother?”

Is it me, or do her arms look unnaturally short in that photo?

“Did you find it hard to tell your mother about it, not wanting to worry your mother? I always find you never want to worry your family about anything.”

Fuck yeah Kate, it’s the most serious aspect of bipolar, like, evarrr. Is your tiara heavy? I always find tiaras heavy.

“I keep thinking about what else we can do and how we can raise awareness. Keep the ideas coming. We think it’s so important. Talking about mental health is so important.”

I keep thinking about how you could funnel some money into raising treatment. Keep the money coming. We think cures are so important. Curing mental illness is so important.

tribal wisdom
tribal wisdom

Testify!

Bipolar can’t stop this University of Colorado senior

Oh yes it can, little duckling, oh yes it can.

“I say I am bipolar and that’s not the case. I have bipolar. It makes such a difference. I think (it’s important to realize) that whatever mental illness you have, it doesn’t control you; you control it,” she says.

If it’s not the case, then why you say it huh? And regarding control, the following:

Bipolar! You’re not the boss of me!

TRIGGER WARNING I ARE GONNA SAY QUITE A NICE THING NAO!

I do, however, feel sad for her that she got booted from the ROTC because it’s illegal for her to be in it. Can’t it be about “medical unfitness” rather than o0o0o0o scary mental illness?

tribal wisdom
tribal wisdom

News & “Research”

I really hate it when research papers are either behind a paywall, or restricted access. Hate, it. Any of you got university level access to such things? Shrink one will get me stuff that she or the pharma reps can access, but it’s slow and tbh I’d rather save that for the stuff I research obsessively in my own time. Also, papers with funky and fascinating titles.

How Your Smartphone Can Detect Bipolar Disorder The sensors in smartphones can accurately detect the changes in mood that are indicative of bipolar disorder, according to a new study. That could lead to faster treatment and better outcomes for sufferers.

That sort of article, which is relevant to the undiagnosed (and obviously I’m all in favour of diagnosis being sped the fuck up), makes me want to say in very melodramatic tones, “it’s too late for me… save yourselves!” anyroad up, the lab rats in the study numbered 12.

Bipolar Disorder In Children: Lithium Proven Safe, Effective For Short-Term Treatment In Children

To be honest, the first query the above article raised for me, was wtf is the image they used for the article supposed to illustrate? Lithium will be administered to kids by way of facepaint and fear? Only smurfs will get it? What? They did the research with 81 kids – it would’ve been 82 if they hadn’t discovered that one child was actually papa smurf masquerading as baby smurf.

tribal wisdom
tribal wisdom

Managing bipolar moods without medication: A qualitative investigation. (Journal of Affective Disorders)

And that research group, o people of the tribe, constituted interviews with 10 (ten) people. My favourite response in the self evaluation of moods category is Leanne, who said “Compare my current mood to Winnie the Pooh characters”. What I’d like to know is whether she used more characters than Eeyore and Tigger. Leanne, by the way, uses scented candles to improve her moods. Simon, by the way, works on maintaining his moods by “going to France at certain times of the year.” Kevin, on the other hand, employs the methods of “self medicating with alcohol” and “staying high“. Fear not though, we can be assured that it is srs bsns by the presence of a flow chart! The only saving grace in the entire paper was this note, which would have been better added at the top in large lettering, “The study was completed as a requirement of the fulfilment of a doctoral award, and received no external funding.” Of concern is the fact that the three people behind the farce will now have PhD tacked on to the end of their names.

tl;dr bipolar can be cured by getting drunk and reading Winnie the Pooh in French in France. You’re welcome.

No standardised measures of current functioning were employed. However this may be inferred from information given by all participants, all but three of whom were in some form of education or employment. Of those who were not, two (Leanne and Nicole) expressed satisfaction that they were better able to participate in valued activities such as volunteering than when they took medication. This might therefore be considered a sample who were, on the whole, living satisfactorily without medication for their bipolar moods. As no participant׳s latest mood episode culminated in hospitalisation, all participants could be considered to be managing their moods without major crisis.

Qualitative investigation my ass. Anyway, that item leads us beautifully to this…

Thanks for the entire next section, JasmineHoneyAdams. (Her description is hysterical too.)

tribal wisdom: the bipolar bullshitometer™
tribal wisdom: the bipolar bullshitometer™

Fuckwits of the week:

Probably the Stupidest Bipolar Website in the World: a page quoting water statistics, they think WATER can cure BIPOLAR. FFS. The rest of the site is just as stupid. They don’t even know the difference between Bipolar Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder. Here’s another STUPID excerpt from their site (because reading it all will make you wonder how very dare they call themselves “bipolar world” when they clearly hate everyone with bipolar disorder) it’s a story about Benny the Bipolar Puppy this was accessed via cached, I can’t imagine why they took the link down after 15 years, but they left all the pages on the website, so I’d laugh at it before it’s gone from Google’s servers….)

The treatment page is a total hoot as well. Here’s my favourite quote (I love being called “bipolars” as if we’re a type of animal): “Bipolars need to realize that taking medication for maintenance purposes is similar to that of a diabetic taking insulin to maintain health. Self medicating with alcohol or other drugs is common in bipolars and leads to mood instability. It makes long-term treatment of bipolar affective disorder difficult, if not impossible to achieve. ”

On the “fuck off and die” scale of bullshit I’d give that site an 11/10

BRB just going for a swim.

And in case you need a little snarkbreak after all that, here it is: Six myths about sleep: if you got up early to read this, you’re in trouble

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Published by

blahpolar

battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

70 thoughts on “the untamed snarkdump”

    1. I clicked ‘like’ out of pure instinctive courtesy. You have outdone yourself, Fryane, and before today I’d never have believed it possible. I only hope you never get confused between the throne and the elliptical.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. And thanks Blah for immortalizing me in a meme, if that is the right word. My first meme. Right up there with my first pottie in a toilet, to keep with the spirit of this thread 😂😂😂

          Liked by 3 people

      1. I am lucky you pressed “like” – I appreciate it, I do. Your blog is my second home, and you know more than most people that I’m the Queen of Way TMI! At the rate I’ve been going there is a chance I could confuse the two apparatuses (apparatus?) whateverthefucks – but that’s what a good, organic lavender/bleach unicorn fart heavy-duty cleaner is for!

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Don’t confuse the toilet paper with your tablet/smartphone either please. Oh that reminds me, as this is your second home, I’m having an outside toilet installed just for you. Remember the opening scenes of Slumdog Millionaire? That.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. That shot of Kate is creepy. So we have to come out as bipolar now? To our parents? Maybe she has it confused with bisexual. I have so many things to “come out” about now it’s no wonder I find it hard to make friends…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. W fucking P ate my reply to you, so I’m now going to attempt replyconstruction.

      I peered at the photo for ages, either she just has big hair, or horror movie arms. Idk what horror movie arms™ are cos I’ve only just invented them.

      We could make a coming out video? To be fair, I have confused bipolarity and bisexuality a couple of times myself.

      Hi, my name is blah, I’m queer, queering, queered, queried and qwerty.

      *goes back in*

      As far as making friends goes, perhaps we should work on your strut, which I believe has a fake it till you make it style positive impact on one’s confidence levels. Either that or it’s just mania. Anyroad up, I’m thinking we could cause mass villager incontinence by doing the Travolta Stayin’ Alive strut all the way to the beach next time you visit.

      Uh uh uh uh…

      Liked by 3 people

  2. That Colorado Uni person’s quote is what got my panties into a twist days ago. Never wanted to punch someone more in the fucking face. With a bulldozer.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I wouldn’t mind a good toasting….. but anyhoo, Interesting post… her tiara’s too heavy? CRACKED ME UP!! In answer to your question – it’s not just what comes in and out of my mind that bothers me, its also what comes out of my MOUTH that just plain disturbs me

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wonder which is worse – having to be concerned about what comes out of one’s mouth, or into it.

      Oh dear, my mind has yet again sunk like a stone into the gutter. If you’ve read the other comments on this post, you’ll know why…..

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Haha thanks for quoting me. I still give it 11/10.
    The Colorado girl… if she fails every test, how’s she a senior?? Don’t you have to, like, pass summative assessments to get a degree in Colorado? And why is all the research by the article’s writer, like, totally generic? I love the bit where she says “it doesn’t control you, you control it.” If that’s the case, I’m devising the Bipolar Space Project and sending my Type II on a fucking spaceship to the outer reaches of Andromeda. Cos, y’know, that’s what I can do to things I control. Hey, she’s making this statement about ALL mental illness right? So I’ll just throw my PTSD and gender dysphoria in there as well. May as well start November with a tidy attic.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. You got room in that spaceship for my crapronyms too? I’m thinking that on its return trip, it could be filled to the brim with something we can sell for a fortune on earth. Sound good? You’ve got November wrong though, you’re supposed to start it with a tidy moustache. Oh no wait, no need – by then your gender dysphoria will be on Uranus. OH YEAH I WENT THERE!

      I’m also trying to figure out whether to ask you to do the fuckwit of the week section regularly, or whether that would just reveal my arrogance air miles. Hmmmmm. Quandary.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. If I could find a fuckwit to comment on every week, I’d do it – although sometimes I can go for weeks without dredging up shit on the internet. Honest. Then I come across some absolute gobshite such as (but not specifically – I don’t fancy a lawsuit so let’s say, in fact, the opposite of) Cathy Brennan or Katie Hopkins and then I despair of whether in fact these people have a wit to fuck.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. You are more than welcome :-) I hope you find useful stuff there – I haven’t really scoped it out yet, but some of the lecturers at my uni love it

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Ach, dead end DNA doesn’t test itself, it just dies a miserable death – and tries to take the rest of us with it. Too bad that dead end DNA doesn’t include some combustible properties…There are a few people who deserve to die of spontaneous human combustion. Wouldn’t that be better? One big bonfire? Then we could roast marshmallows.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This dump was so good I had to come back and read it again along with every comment.

    I read it while working out and it made the time go by soooofast! I shit you not. (Gottta keep the theme going here….)

    ANYWAY, I couldn’t help but visit the children & lithium article and see that bizarrrreeee-roooo inappropriate photo of the smurf girl – she’s not even a child; she looks like a tween – . I couldn’t believe there were 0 comments, so I simply wrote (using Craig’s Facebook account since the dumb outlet only takes comments that way) that I found the picture asinine & that a toddler could provide a better illustration. I didn’t drop any f-bombs, I swear. I’m proud of my restraint. That photo is beyond ridiculous. The horror, the horror!

    I’ll be send you a link for something I think you’ll want to use for the next dump, especially if it’s Halloween-related at all. Xo Thanks again for this linkdump – I loved it and so did everyone else. A big hit!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How did you miss ending by saying big hit and not shit? Once again, Fryane Freaking-Farwood, you have surprised me. Zounds! Poor Craig, he must have a reputation as an outspoken and foul mouthed commenter by now. They could’ve used Lithium Smurf to illustrate it too. Lithium Smurf can be seen either sauntering around looking quite happy, pausing only for the occasional blood test and to jot down some notes about the benefits of bipolar, or with his sweet little blue head permanently stuck down a toilet while his kidneys die quietly. (pardon me, I was channeling Mugglethought™ there).

      Got your link ta, haven’t replied, because wp summoned me to answer a few comments and I could not disobey. I*zombie arms

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have a big, shit-eating (uh oh, I’ll stop it from now on, promise!) grin on my visage after reading this comment of yours.

        Lithium Smurf – now that’s the Halloween costume for me! Forgettabout CRUISEVOLTA™ !!!

        And Mugglethought™ – love it!!!!!

        No rush to reply to that link; actaully there’s no need – if you like it, you’ll dump it. I can always count on you to dump worthwhile dumps . Can you tell I just had a brownie.? No cannabis.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m dancing this to read when I can better (better?? really Diane??) concentrate, I have no motivation, I’m shipping into depression ~ I can feel it cloaking over my soul,,,

    Like

  7. I enjoyed the post and now….I am off to light scented candles, drink wine and look at pictures of France. ….or was that Read Winnie the Pooh while getting drunk and run away to a foreign country while smelling candles?

    Well if these sound like cures….what can I say…

    Great post
    Much love,
    Annie 🐇💕

    Liked by 1 person

      1. If you roast pooh for real they may change your diagnosis…..on the other hand if I tell them you are roasting winnie the pooh for real they may haul me in for a mandatory 3 day hold….
        Damn this world…you can’t win being honest about reality…..You can do it and I will lie about it….:)

        Liked by 1 person

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