crash test dummy

“I have a feeling that you’re riding for some kind of a terrible, terrible fall.” —The Catcher in the Rye

I crashed. Of course I crashed. I woke this morning and the bright, yellow sun was blazing already. I felt leaden and full of fear like wings flapping; I’ve read bloggers calling them birds and moths lately and that’s just what it feels like. Someone else posted a photo of shirts saying, ‘anxiety is my cardio’ and true enough, it’s bloody exhausting.

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It’s February, you see, and so the third anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up. Lots of bad stuff barely buried there. Synapse will be here with me for it. Might have to relax the rules and just get drunk or something. Eighteen days to go.

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One of many, many things I loathe about death, is all of the conversations it cuts short, the mutual interests. Albums get released, books published and I grow angry. It’s horrible, sitting alone with a pile of stuff that should be shared. Music is a bloody nightmare, we shared a lot. Books too. Our tastes varied enough to avoid the book thing much of the time, but music, forget it. I’ll start off just listening to stuff I love that she didn’t (hip hop, for example), but soon enough, the guitars and ballads creep home. “You’re into harmony,” she said to me once, “that’s what you’re about.”

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Someone I thought of as incredibly fine told me yesterday that she gets angry and wants to slash her wrists some days.

all cracked up

My lazy pasting of stock images continues. Hypo me sez it’s the next big thing, real me says jaaa I’ll just do this for a little while, then…oh look! A butterfly!

Hypo me almost started a whole new blog for it, BUT I DIRRENT, SEE HOW I HAZ LEARNED! *cough* I hate myself and I want to fry*… Truth be told, it’s a mixed episode, and you guys know that’s less than no fun. The little hypo patches in it are getting me through the day without cracking up completely though.

Look it was either this, or I was just going to blog about tattoo ideas and Bowie’s last album. Actually that might have been better, but I honestly can’t concentr…WOW BUTTERFLY!

* ten points to Gryffindor if you got that.

the bipolaugh linkdump

“A glance at the comments threads on any of these works reflects how much they’ve helped readers who relate feel less alone. But also, by choosing the traditionally “light” medium of comics, the authors make the dark themes more accessible to outsiders. An inherent reality of any mental illness, including addiction, is that “normies” just don’t ever seem to get it—which of course makes the sufferer feel even worse. So it’s gratifying to see the thoughts and feelings you couldn’t begin to articulate illustrated in a way that makes you say YES YES THIS. So much this. This is what I have been trying to say to you.”
How Can Comics Help The World Understand Mental Illness?

I, the curator of all things bipolar, have carefully selected for you, o best beloved readers, a collection of cartoons and comics. The word curator is there to let you know that they’re all my own subjective choices rather than a comprehensive directory. They’re not traditionally funny, they’re things to identify with and things to file as gallows humour.

Continue reading the bipolaugh linkdump

enter name…

So I thought I’d start reviewing webcomics containing bipolar disorder themes and characters. No matter how tenuous the connection, or how low profile the manic depression content, there’s a chance I’ll review it. First lady for a shave is MS Paint Adventures.

Let’s go.

Continue reading enter name…