Review & Interview: Beautiful Wreck – Sex, Lies & Suicide

Isn’t that a great title? I’d pick that book up regardless of its bipolar content. 

I felt as if death wouldn’t be a shock because I had already died and was only shambling through the motions of living and relating to others, as if I were a robot or a zombie. (Stephanie Schroeder)


This is not your conventional bipolar memoir; if you want a book with solid linear progression, featuring bipolar every step of the way. If you want to get to know an interesting woman who can make you laugh and who doesn’t blame it all on the bipolar, read this one. And halle-freaking-lujah it’s written by somebody I can relate to in more depth than previous memoirs, a lesbian. (okay, there’s ‘Marbles’, but there’s not a lot of actual reading in that.) There aren’t many places you’ll find the words bipolar and butch cock together and believe me, that fact made me grin. The author’s creative writing career began with erotica and her skill and ease with the genre shows in this book. Having said that, if you’re expecting something lasciviously detailed to jerk off to, this isn’t it. Unless you’re maybe, you know, the speedster type.

It’s a damn fine read and it was the tone and quality of the writing that hooked me – my only niggles are some shifts in tense that threw me a bit, but then, I’m an editor and therefore nitpicky as hell. The presence of domestic violence (by the loathsome Lauren) may upset some, but it’s expressed fairly briefly and in a matter of fact style. In fact, the entire book is matter of fact – even the parts that will make my heterofriends’ eyes bulge a bit, avoid cheap sensationalism (but don’t get me wrong, it’s still pretty hot). Her voice is strong throughout and hindsight has clearly taught more than its fair share of lessons. Suicide is (obviously) one of the book’s major themes and the journeys to and away from her attempts are well illustrated by journal entries from the time – and her suicide notes.

If any of you read it, please get your asses back here afterwards so we can talk about it some more. In the meantime, there’s an extract here, and have a look at the Q&A with author Stephanie Schroeder below.

Continue reading Review & Interview: Beautiful Wreck – Sex, Lies & Suicide

manic depressongs

In which I spoof, parody, rip off and fuck up the following songs:

Loser Closer (NIN)
Anhedonia Barcelona (Freddie Mercury and thingummy)
Panic Manic Monday (the Bangles)
You’re simply depressed the best (Tina Turner)

But first, an original song by the blogger who threatened to sell me to the $¢ientologists if I didn’t include it. Introducing Dyane Disorder featuring DJ Dog…

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in which I watch a documentary and get sidetracked

Get some coffee, this’ll be a long post. Mine’s milk no sugar thanks.

My mother used to say that she’d end up
at Bellevue if we didn’t all behave
Of course, she wanted to go to Bellevue
where the world was safe, the grates familiar,
the howling not unlike her stifled sobs.
(from ‘Bellevue’ by Julia Alvarez, 2002)

Continue reading in which I watch a documentary and get sidetracked

linkerish allsorts

First off, thanks very much to the six people (plus me) who sent self portraits of different types, they’re now up on the self portrait project. There are (fingers crossed) more on the way. Want the password? Shoot me a mail via my contact form so that you can send me your mugshot self portrait. You can do whatever you want, however you want and as many as you want. Enough self esteem to believe in your own creativity is not required; let rip and I’ll do the believing for you. You do not have to use your real live actual face (I didn’t).

Alright, it’s linktime.

Continue reading linkerish allsorts

a little fry and worry

Scheduled post.

Should I make this a regular weekly thing, or do you think it’d get tedious? The man is prolific, to put it mildly, I suspect that it’d be possible to mine the archives and the present forever, without ever catching up with him.

Continue reading a little fry and worry