I’m so blah!
My whole soul rebels against structured things, always. I think I spent the first two months “forgetting” to do various cognitive behavioural therapy homework assignments. The week she finally said, “just write anything,” I suddenly became compliant, but last week she strode in and said, “before anything else, I need to give you homework!” I bleated, “but I do homework every week!” “Structured homework,” quoth she, in ominous tones – and my heart sank.
She sketched out a table with the following headers:
Date and situation.
Emotion and intensity out of 100.
Automatic thoughts and images. Rate how much you believe that thought out of 100.
Cognitive distortion.
Rational response. Rate how much you believe in this response out of 100.
How much do you believe in the original thought out of 100?
Further action. Do you need to take some further action in light of the rational response?
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blahpolar 
Cognitive gives me panic attacks, like a flashback to pop quizzes I froze on, Also, epic fail because I don’t have faith in a therapy that requires your entire identity be quashed for “your own good.”
If being a rebel is a malignant personality trait, CBT ain’t gonna do anything but make me dig my heels in harder. Been there, done that, bought the souvenir spork.
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So far I’m dealing with it OK on the whole, mostly because I get so much from her that has nothing to do with CBT. And she’s a trainee, so I’m not feeling totally as if I’m just the patient. Idk it’s a weird setup I guess. And she’s a really cool woman, which helps too.
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I’m so glad she’s cool – that’s major! Sometimes the trainees are far better than their superiors, right? They haven’t grown that chip on their shoulder yet. I wrote this too over at OLE: “After all those juicy, perspicacious comments I’ve got nothing profound to write except to say that I’m *very* curious to see what she says, so yes – please let us know after you run it by her!!! Xo”
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For some reason, your blog is not pulling up on my WordPress Reader shortlist, which REALLY pisses me off. Anyway, that’s my excuse for not visiting more often. That, and I’m overwhelmed.
BTW, may I steal your Bipolar Blogger Network button. I LOVE it. I may want to create my own for the Mental Health Writers’ Guild. Don’t want to convert my site to your color palate…In fact, if I could steal your artwork, I could recolor your Bipolar Blogger Network button to suit me. LOVE the DNA rollercoaster.
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Maybe it’s because I changed my url, I dunno though, wp hasn’t been showing me everyone either. Help yourself to anything you like. Nice to see you here again.
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Thanks!
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Psst- How are you, friend?
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Dowwwwwwwn
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No!! I’m thinking of you *lights your cigarette*
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So I’ve got nothing, I’m just sharing the love today. I hope you’re having as pleasant a Friday as possible, and have a great weekend.
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You too, hombre
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Missing you! Have a hug and have a gentle and fluffy bipolarbear (I imagine it made it to SA from the North Pole on a manic quest to prove penguins are real but now he is sad and needs a hug). So more hugs.
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