That’s me in the corner.
“This is the worst I’ve seen you in almost a year.”
I wasn’t so bad though… The patient ahead of me wore bright yellow overalls stamped ‘remand/detainee’ and clanked past in metal shackles.
Therapy was tough today, naturally, because things have been tougher than usual lately. We talked about some psychological stuff and about clozapine, which is the crux of it all for me at the moment, because of its side effects. Well it’s not purely the physical side effects, it’s that one of them triggers me into the kind of whirlwind flashbacks I’d been free of since 2011. And one other that triggers my own brand of self harm i.e. fast and dirty fists to the head. I was happy to get answers as solid as they can possibly be; ten days or so for clozapine to reach an optimal dose, and another two weeks steady on it…
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blahpolar 
Damn it. How long do you have to keep taking these pills before someone gets you off them? Don’t they have any mercy?
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When meds get too fucked up, I stop taking them, simple as that. I did it with Seroquel and lithium and I was right to do so on both occasions. Fuckem. I’m a whole lot further down the list of options now.
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Fucking shit. I hope all the vomiting is worth it, then. Still angry over your entire situation, damn it. You shouldn’t have to go thru this. <3
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Wow your hospital pharmacy sounds like my local pharmacy. Last time I went in, they told me they couldn’t dispense my anti sickness tablets because they were 6 short (on a Rx for 100) and for my Seroquel (generic quetiapine anyway), instead of a patient information leaflet with ingredients, they printed off half a page (literally stopped mid-sentence) about schizophrenia from patient.co.uk and folded it next to the squashed, re-used box they’d put the pills in. Because Seroquel’s also used for Schizophrenia and they just assumed I wanted to know about that rather than about whether I’m going to go into anaphylaxis from additives. Oh and when I was last in hospital, they gave me full boxes of everything instead of the 7 days supply I was supposed to get. I don’t think this would bother anyone who hadn’t worked in a pharmacy, though, so just me. That local one is still the best one for miles around – one other one refused my script because she didn’t think the dosage was appropriate for my body weight??????
I hope you feel less sick soon. Homeopathic-strength green tea was a great suggestion, btw, thanks for that one. Also hot water and honey goes down quite well for me apparently, YMMV though.
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I really wish the while concept worked better; it’s awful.
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ECT is “barbaric” according to that doc., but his bear hunting is just peachy? Serious WTF!!!! Anyway, thinking of you – the pictures are haunting, so sorry you have to deal with all this utter bullshit….
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