the situation is…

The agitation that rules my mixed episodes will kill me if anything does. Yesterday I put it down to the hellish and hell-tempered wind, which always turns me into a replica of itself. Bastard. Today the air is calm, the weather is sunny and perhaps I can blame it on having to do (shudder) housework. If this allegedly situational mood thing continues, tomorrow I’ll be kicked into mania, because a close friend is arriving to stay for a month. And then at some point I’ll turn situationally into a grouchy social fuckwit, because I’m a loner. My friend laughs and makes space for me when I’m peevish and so then I’ll be situationally relieved and revert gradually into situationally hostly pleasantness. Other situational mood forecasts will be me manic (actually that one is a dead cert) in Addo Elephant Park, tension when a mutual friend joins us for five days (FIVE days with TWO people in my little house!), fist clenching irritation if anybody eats audibly, fear of my solar power and geyser buckling under the strain, some more mania during especially awesome conversations… und so weiter. Afterwards, I’ll be situationally sad about my friend leaving, as well as situationally relieved to reclaim my solitude. It’ll be situationally exhausting, but very situationally good and worthwhile and so despite my situational housework terror, I’m actually very situationally pleased.

But if one more person asks me why my baseline is pretty deep depression and why I’m such a sad soul, There Will Be Consequences. Hand me one of those idiots who makes I hate bipolar it’s awesome memes, I’m feeling situationally homicidal.


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battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

42 thoughts on “the situation is…”

  1. I’m sending you all the assholes at the mental health clinic, taking advantage of this situational homicidal rampage! Or throw them to the scientist to serve as lab rats. See how they like it.

    May your STRONGS be situationally available for this part of the journey especially.

    I’m also squinting at your new icon. When I get on the laptop I’ll assess it more closely. It looks much good.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. No probs, send the fuckers to me, and maybe some more AK47 ammo if you can spare it, so many idiots, so few bullets…

      New icon is the head of a dragon, ready to toast muggles and heretics.

      Situational strongs for you too Z, always.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Strongs dear Blah. I can send more bullets AND guns to improve the idiot situation. As for the situational housework, duck and cover as a whirlwind Sass is on her way to help!
    Give your dragon some love from me for toasting Florida. I do hope his hide made a wonderful weekender bag. ;)

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Um, because I forgot to renew my bipolar passport for Blahpolar Airlines. Oh goody! I can’t wait to see how it turned out. Hopefully it will improve my situationally depressed non-showered-in-8-days self. Yeah yeah..I know..

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I don’t know how much you’ll like the bag, it’s kind of…. unreliable and looks as though it might burst at the seams at any moment. Tragic. And I only showered yesterday because I had to go get meds and didn’t want to annihilate the friend who came with.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Toaster lurks in the background, keeping an eye on visitors’ IP addresses and matching them to comments. Then he fires up his mouth and off he goes. And thanks very much :)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope that things go super-smooth with your friend (he/she must be a good egg for you to be together for a month!) As for when you have both friends there, um, take S. out for nice, long walks when it all gets too much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks lots and yes it’ll work just fine, we’ve visited each other in 3 different countries now – I have a very small and much loved group of friends like that. They’re the only reason/s I ever wish I was still in Europe. Good thought re the walks lol.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Knowing how small your place is, I’m sure you will find the month a touch cozy, but I am glad that you will have someone close by. I mean, it’s not like you live in a burgeoning metropolis (not that that is any less lonely and isolated as I well know). And another trip to Addo! Keep an eye out for our rooikats, I suspect they have grown!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ja it’ll be good to have people around who don’t give a fuck who or what I am, as long as I’m me. I’ll definitely send you photos of Addo, and I will be very, very surprised if the rooikatte are visible, but you know I’ll have my eyes peeled. You and I had a good day’s game viewing by anyone’s standards.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ahahah. A whole MONTH!! I can’t think of a friend I would have around my house for a whole month without becoming a seething hydra below the surface… that does give me pause for thought. Awesome, you’ve got it all situationally under control, it seems :D. I hope you have a brilliant and relaxing and healing time with them both xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ordinarily I’d be the same, but it feels different because the distance between my close friends and I is so much greater with me moving back to SA. It’s probably good for me too, so that I don’t become a total hermit or something. I’m struggling to see what’s wrong with being a total hermit tho lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A friend of Blah is a friend of mine. Must be very good people. Very pleased indeed you will be getting some company, even if loner occasionally itches for more loner time. You’ll find the balance because love/friendship/Blah:)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sincerely hope your situation improves and you don’t go on a muggle killing spree. That and I’m terrified of your Toaster dragon and Sarah Emmerling’s comment scared the living shit out of me o.O

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hey, Addo even makes me manic! But I really hope it will be managable. You know you will have understanding people there, just tell them whatever and they will adjust :) The pancake-coloured therapy dog will literally can’t even with all the new people :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes you’re right, I know it’ll be lov3ly,i just felt the need to barf out my background thoughts to make it a bit easier, you know? Therapy dog wants to know did you just?


  9. Maybe you could advertise for the situational vacancy, requesting some situational dragonsharks to eat the meme-makers and re-posters and “positive thinkers” then perhaps they could situate themselves on-site so you can sit down to situate their citations for the sitrep about how/why they had a momentary miasma of judgement when they mesmerisingly ate the memists.

    Liked by 1 person

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