what the f…riday?

So, Fryane Fried-on-Fridays babbled incoherently… I’m guessing it was a 3 shot espresso thing…

I have a SPARKLING idea for you. Please, please think it over.

Seriously.

What about 1x week you offer us, your devotees, the chance to “Ask Blahpolar” whatever we want!
Please please please?????
It can be short and sweet. You don’t have to work TOO hard, um…maybe?

Please say yes!

I fear for her psychotic soul, but she is one of the few people who can withstand a torrent of friendly abuse the size of a Matterhorn avalanche. Yup, mixed episodes cause mixed metaphors; mind you, so do hypomania, mania, anger and agitation. Despite my suspicion that she doesn’t quite understand the word ‘devotees’ and is impressively deluded about my fascination factor and my ability to be either short or sweet, I succumbed. Weekly posts would be a disaster for my page views, so I’m doing a weakly version. And here it is.

image
Actual picture of yours truly. That's my 'thrilled' facial expression.

If you can think of anything to ask that I haven’t already barfed up in your newsfeed already, please do, because if there aren’t any questions, I’m going to die of shame. On the other hand, if you’d prefer me dead, silence is your best option. You’re welcome to be as rude, crude, offbeat and outrageous as you like.

It reminded me of a post I wrote a few months ago for the blogging 101 course. Okay it was the only post I wrote for it. Rereading it, I have to retrospectively diagnose full throttle hypomania, I was the shit of many bats that day. I get hypo on wp rather too easily and it’s fun till my mind reminds me of all the pain and self loathing. I can’t think of a less melodramatic way to say that (actually I can’t think of a more melodramatic way either). I used to be fond of reality, these days I’m pointing an ak47 at the motherfucker. I must also confess that I genuinely bore myself shitless, because it’s not interesting inside my mind, even when I’m nattering with the sea or an 8 foot praying mantis. I am however, up my own ass enough to be interested in questions about me. Well. Most questions.

Please…

Say something…

Anything…

Don’t leave me out here in the cold…

Hold me.

image

Published by

blahpolar

battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

147 thoughts on “what the f…riday?”

    1. Irl, my dog. In the strange world in my mind, which I allow to bleed all over my blog, I have a wombat, a honeybadger, a giraffe and a jackal buzzard.

      The dragon having a special someone is generally an unwise idea. He had 12 villagers last week and jeez did they ever scream. Apparently he likes screamers (up until the point where he begins to gnash his fearsome teeth.

      Liked by 4 people

  1. I just finished my “morning” (1:30pm) workout, and I saw this tickling post on my Facebook page. I have some questions, yes I do… Do you intent to live the rest of your life in South Africa, and why? (I can make more if you like LOL) Hugs!!;)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It took me a ludicrously long time to settle anywhere for very long, I’ve had 55 different addresses and I’d like this to be the last one. I’ve moved between here and the UK a hell of a lot, staying here was an impossible decision initially, and then all of the fog cleared. I love this country. I’d rather die fast here than endure any more of the living death than I kept encountering there. I fucking love this country intensely and I’m not afraid of it anymore.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. I have the same problem you had. I used to go back and forward between 3 cities but my heart is not where I live for the last 23 years, my heart is where I grew up. It’s completely different and it has a lot more of quality life with nature than the big city. I am a small town girl wishing the small town be peopling free I only love the land ;) (Gossip, intruding, controlling are some of the characteristics of small town people, I hate). I’m glad you are in peace with your decision, that’s all it matters. Have a great weekend me dear!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. K. I’m game. (Fabulous self-portrait on the Blah Throne: regal, bird-bonneted, strenuously unimpressed.) Here’s my inaugural imponderable. Everyone nowadays says we’re supposed to find peace and fulfillment in our own sorry selves. Is it the mongrel bipolar in me, or my new favorite term, the Plague in me, that finds this line of thought pure rollicking bollocks, and hence continues on his never-ending and apparently futile quest for True Love? Or, all things considered, are the non-evidence-based and Plauge-afflicted Romantics right, and True Love the one achievable miracle we got on Planet Fucked, so instead of striving for peace and self-contentment and dainty cups of green tea and bearded men intoning soothingly hypnotic mantras, it’s totally okay to keep killing myself chain-smoking and gazing toward the horizon with dewy eyes? (My question for the next sesh will be about the stages of grief: figure I’d start out with the easy shit first 😂😂😂)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. If these questions are supposed to be about your personal life, I apologize. But given the chance, I am greedy to hear your wise perspective on the great matters ☺️

      Liked by 3 people

    2. Perf. We on the same page, my lovely woman. I will die gazing at the horizon, searching for Twu Love (Princess Bride, natch). The wonderful and unfairly maligned Laurens van der Posr’s last words: “Der sterre, der sterre!” The stars, the stars. Beam me the fuck up Scottie, back to the Pleistocene. Ready to be a Real Person!

      Liked by 2 people

                  1. Me too… I can’t be stinking up the internet with my… how did Sherwin Nuland put it? “bovine stercus”…

                    Liked by 2 people

                    1. Yes indeed!
                      Bovine stercus!
                      Good recall, Lolabipola! ;)
                      And out of all the options Dr. Nuland had, he chose the classiest one

                      “Bullshit” has a number of euphemisms:

                      * BS
                      o bullshark
                      o bullshnikes
                      o bovine stercus
                      o bovine scat
                      * baloney
                      * bull
                      * bull butter (alluding to something that would be as absurd as a bull producing milk/butter)
                      * bull con
                      * bull feathers
                      * bullcrap
                      * bullroar (especially when intimidation is involved)
                      * bullpucky or bullpuckey
                      * bullhonkery
                      * dittmar
                      * horsefeathers
                      * horsepucky or horsepuckey
                      * horse hockey (referring to the hockey-like motion of shoveling manure)
                      * poppycock (a transliteration of pappe kak, the Dutch phrase for “bird crap”)
                      * Horseshit

                      Liked by 3 people

                    2. Or, gulp, was….our esteemed Leader.

                      R.I.P. Dr. Nuland – yes, you’ve shuffled off your mortal coil, and we miss the bovine stercus out of you!

                      Liked by 2 people

                    3. Please Fed-Ex me your brain and I shall implant it after I remove my brain. I know someone who can pull off the procedure at Stanford.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. I’d love to get rid of it, a courier with a can opener would be most welcome. I know I said that very thing recently, but I can’t remember whether it was you or who.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. I’m eagerly awaiting your next THE BLAHPOLAR blog post, hint hint, so as fun as it is for me to pester you, I guess I shall stop bugging you for at least the next 30-45 minutes, in YESTERDAY! I have to haul myself on the elliptical.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    6. Ja it was Leia for me, not Carrie. Plus I heard she has bipolar, so nobody wants a relationship with that. She probs changes her moods once a minute and hates bipolar because it’s awesome.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. I think you’re one of the few who do have a brain. I missed out on that, hence I’m going to buy some lotto tickets, win (I hope) and hire you to edit or perhaps ghostwrite my book.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    8. Oh indeed! Demure is totally the first word that sprang to mind to describe myself! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

                      Liked by 2 people

          1. You must admit this went VERY well! Everyone is into it! And it sure as hell isn’t boring. (Secret rough ghost marriage, anyone?) I’ll drop it…..maybe.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. I’ve seen allusions to the blessed (?) union before; yes, it did sink in somewhat (I’m not that clueless, what do you think I am, a $cientologist?)but for some reason I didn’t want to overstep…

                Liked by 1 person

    3. Amazeballs Kubler-Ross quote….I’ve enjoyed several of her books, especially “The Wheel of Life: A Memoir of Living and Dying” which is fascinating. She pissed off a lot of people and kept going.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Can I have a DNA sample from the dragon for my next hybrid project? Will you provide papers of providence so my flock will be “blahthority” approved? Can you do the macarena? Do you eat macaroni?
    Yeah, I’m just talking shit now.
    But you speak hypomanic, so we’re good ;)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. No poetry, just some silly rhymes when the mania gets all clangy. No plans of any sort tbh. My thoughts on places I’ve lived are brief and fleeting these days. 55 domiciles, 4 countries. Ludicrous, what a manic and misspent life.

      (Zambia, South Africa, England, Scotland)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Crikey, 55 places, four countries. Crikey! At only six homes and two countries, I feel quite settled. & unambitious. Sorry to hear about the poetry, I would have liked to read it.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It was all just one whole expensive, futile and destructive attempt to run away from everything on every level, of course. Beeps said I should nudge a few of my old poems on to my blog, so perhaps I will.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Holy shit, I’m laughing my ass off drinking a 4-shot espresso at Ben Lomond Bakery!
    You know me so well!
    I’ll be back to comment some more when the shots kick in.
    May need to order a couple more…to support local business!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. p.s. Of course I’m tweeting this & I’ll reblog overthe weekend – yes, I’m a shameless Blahpolar groupie and I’ll promote the hell outta this! ;)

    Liked by 3 people

  6. BTW: I went to this definition first before using the word “devotees”

    “dev·o·tee
    ˌdevəˈtē,ˌdevəˈtā/Submit
    noun
    plural noun: devotees
    a person who is very interested in and enthusiastic about someone or something.
    “a devotee of classical music”
    synonyms: enthusiast, fan, lover, aficionado, admirer

    “NOT THIS PART” says Fryane!!!
    “a strong believer in a particular religion or god.
    “devotees of Krishna”
    synonyms: follower, adherent, supporter, advocate, disciple, votary, member, stalwart, fanatic, zealot”

    I do love watching an enthusiastic line-up of Hare Krishnas making a ruckus, though,
    with their tambourines and saffron gear! But I won’t join them – I’d probably go schmooze with Travolta and join his cult instead.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fryane, this post was your instruction, erm, I mean idea, amirite? Thank you for your four (4) comments, the cool link and the opportunity learn a couple of definitions, but what puzzles me Fry, is that you haven’t asked me any questions. I demand an explanation :D

      Liked by 3 people

      1. My dear fiend, I mean friend – YES, ur-rite
        it occurred to me that I should probably ask you a question
        since I obviously have no problems in leaving tribble-ish comments all over your bleedin’ site!

        But I digress.

        I thought it would be greedy to posit a question when I knew you’d be deluged with them!
        (methinks I only asked you to answer one ? because I didn’t want the demand to be too much!)

        Does that make any sense? My caffeine buzz ended 7 hours ago. Boo.

        /Users/Dyane/Desktop/ST_TroubleWithTribbles.jpg

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I was skinny, blonde, shy, awkward, clever and desperately unhappy. Toy – matchbox cars. South Africa didn’t get TV till 1975, my earliest memories of TV were in the Scottish Highlands, when I loved Blue Peter so much that when one of their studio dogs died, I wrote in asking for a photo of her. Best friend – books, particularly the Romano-British stories by Rosemary Sutcliffe. I wasn’t a best friend sort of a kid, my childhood was too fucked to acquire the tools to form connections at that point. Found the tools later though and so all is well.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I have some research to do ;) I absolutely love the honesty! I also highly doubt you weren’t the best friend sort. I’m leaning more towards a much higher I.Q. than my peers, so easily bored by others theory. ;) G-uno

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Well since I have had the distinct privilege of sharing your space for a week (not to mention that ill-advised marriage) I think the only thing I really want to know is: why can’t you just give the damn meatloaf a rest? I mean you try to make a meatloaf in the microwave with ground ostrich and do better. Ag shame!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Lol!!!!!

      And listen handbrake, if the meatloaf didn’t repeat so much, I’d leave it alone. Till that day (which is not this day), enjoy the ire and the burps. Mutter.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Oh my Ascending Aliens, is your BLOG NAME DIFFERENT?????
    I need to know this because I want to re-blog it and sound somewhat intelligent
    when it comes to referring to your official title, which looks to my exhausted eye like:

    BLAH BLAH BLAHPOLAR

    (I likey!)

    But truth be told, I also loved blahpolar diaries too. Change is good.
    I shall wait until I hear back from you before I rebloggeth!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear Fryane,

      Your communication of 24/10/15 refers. The party of the first party interrupted the partying in order to release the following statement.

      “I don’t care what you call me, just don’t yodel while doing so.”

      Yrs etc

      The party of the second party partying heartily.

      Or something.

      Liked by 4 people

  9. First: kick ass fucking portrait. So second: will you do a portrait of me? ;) Seriously. Here they are; the big 10.
    1. Have you had a gallery showing of your artwork?
    2. What’s better: cheese toastie or grilled cheese?
    3. Why is gum fine when you take it out of the wrapper, fine in your mouth, and then the gunkiest stuff on earth when it comes out of your mouth?
    4. Is beheading lethal or non-lethal in your world?
    5. Why am I asking such silly questions?
    6. Do you know how uber-cool I think you are?
    7. Will you, upon your death, grant me your brain so I can eat it with fava beans and a nice chianti?
    8. If I die before you, can I come back as one of your pets? That would be cool.
    9. Why does my left foot itch?
    10. Did I annoy you or make you laugh? ;-D

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You want a portrait made of stock images slapped together? Np roflolol.

      1. Couple of photography exhibitions of shots of a fucked up little island off Mozambique.
      2. Grilled mmmmmmmmm
      3. Idk, I hate gum. Sorry gum.
      4. Well the roses don’t seem to mind, I suspect it may even do them some good.
      5. Because you’re beeps.
      6. Tyvm and returned in full.
      7. You can have it right now, send a courier with a can opener asap.
      8. Sure thing, but obedience goes along with the luxury lifestyle.
      9. Your inner footballer requires attention.
      10. I laughed my ass off xx

      Liked by 3 people

      1. BWAHAHAHA!

        Portrait of stock images slapped together? Yes, please. You’ve seen the real me. ;) I dig your style.

        Lovin’ your answers. I’ll be sending that courier just as soon as I can get all the paperwork through. As for number 8, I do tend to be a bit submissive and only get snappy if ignored. So pet me and love me and tell me how great I am and I’ll be yours forever. <3 :-D

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh god I hate baps, they’re like trying to eat clouds. I demand crust and substance (a great title for the period drama I have no intention of writing). Bread rolls I guess. Tiger bread if possible though. Tyvm. You?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. *hand waving/arm pumping in the air to get attention* WHY. AM. I. SO. CONFUSED. REGARDING. THIS. QUESTION. &. ANSWER. CONVERSATION?? ***JEOPARDY THEME PLAYING IN BACKGROUND***
    I AM SOOO CONFUSED!! LOL! (I think)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Do you think a creative mind with a vivid imagination, able to see possibilities, both light and dark, leads to mental disturbace?

    Or does mental illness lead to having visions of possibilities both dark and light and a creative, sometimes nightmarish, graphic imagination?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If it’s an either/or question, I’m inclined (as someone thoroughly unqualified to judge) to say it’s the first one – that sensitive people are more likely to take a brutal beating from the world.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey, Zoe from Trash Diaries recommended your blog to me because I need to find more of a bipolar tribe, I’m very lonely in my illness. I am going to subscribe to yours and hope that you will check mine out as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, once you start reading and talking to more bipolar bloggers, you’ll have a tribe for sure. I’d be truly fucked without the help and knowledge and support of the tribe out here in blog land.

      Like

        1. Maybe click on the commenters on blogs that you like? I can heartily recommend the writing and hearts of all the bloggers who comment on mine.

          Like

  13. I have several questions and frivolous comments:
    1) Are you aware of Craig Ferguson? Apparently he likes dragons and other interesting, fabulous, cryptozoological, and mythical creatures. I’m quite taken with his humour.
    2) How can there be “pantheons” when pan means all and theon means “of the gods,” already plural. And, commentary, I’ve been wearing these panthes for eons. 2a)which one(s) “of the gods” have ever done anything? (I want to be sure I’m on the right panwagon.)
    3) Pan also can mean “to criticize severely, so how does one criticize the “on” severely? 3a-Is this critical of power switches, or are we frying the “on?” 3b-In butter or olive oil? 3c-Why is olive oil virgin or extra virgin and 3d- what exactly fucks olive oil, and 3e-what’s it called after it’s been fucked? 3f-Why don’t we criticize “off?” I mean, 3g-why is there a “pantheon,” but no “pantheoff?” 3h) how do I get these panthes off? 3i-If we’re criticizing “theon” then are we critical of the gods? because I sure as shit am sometimes. 3j- if I’m supposed to worship and I criticize and people say I’m hypocritical, when did I ever say anything bad about a hippo? and hypo means “under,” wouldn’t I be considered hyper-critical?
    4) I can’t tell you how glad I am these panthes aren’t full of shit, but if the gods are vengeful would everyone please say a prayer for me and maybe sacrifice some delicious farm animal or bird or something?
    5) No fucking way! one of my sub-titulary designations is FU2 too! LOL I used sub-titulary in a sentence! Wtf is sub-titular
    6) Why are you chasing the unobtainable Carrie F when I’m fucking RIGHT HERE? And how many straight guys are propositional? I’m pro, definitely in favor, for a lot of things, including positional… Charming as Carrie is eloquent, I find her age a strong deterrent to anything other than conversation, but I find the suggestive nature of the thread fascinating.
    7) if you panned me, would it be Pan-Deon? Or Mumple Pan-cakes? I like mine with butter and real maple syrup AND I can make them from scratch, take that all you buy-a-box-and-just-add-water-wishing-you-could-cooks!
    8) Did you know my dragon is purple and he loves your dragon almost as much as I love you and all your friends?
    9) Did you know I hope you’re having a better day than I am? I’m so very distracted today. Arrrgghhh, the caffeine is not having any effect on my jumpy ADD (holy shit, another common sub-titulary designation… and I can only think in detours and road blocks and “under construction” zones. I confess I’m a bit jealous of u, lary…BUT,
    10) I’m a better baker than u, lary. And I’m going to make some lovely crusty bread AND some baps and have a bread party, just so I can attract all these lovely people to my home and thumb my nose (and the baps) and scream, “Fuckulary! And all your subtitular luck, too.” Because nobody likes to thumb up the baps, and the subtitular regions, more than I do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. Yes, but haven’t seen much – I’ll remedy that.
      2. You’re right and I’m an idiot and panwagon is a fabulous word.
      3. Yes.
      4. I’ll roast a chicken in your honour.
      5.it refers to very small breasts below the usual sort.
      6. I’m not, I just have wistful memories of my crush on Leia and her Bjorn Weckstrom necklace. You know I adore you.
      7. Pandeonmonium.
      8. They should date! Wait – is your dragon queer? Now there’s a question I’ve never expected to ask.
      9. I’m having an abysmal day too, fuck today with a dragon.
      10. Yes you are! Probably a better pervert too, damn your eyes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am a pretty damn good pervert I confess, and my eyes are probably already damned- they’ve seen or dreamed of a lot of titulary and subtitulary regions, baps, and breads… Matthew 5:29 takes one, and Matthew 18:9 takes the other and I am blind, fucked, turned on a spit and rarely roasted for dragon crunchymunchies. I hope He didn’t mean that literally. I’m not sure what gender my dragon is, I never checked, but Buttercup can date anyone it wants to date. I have wistful memories of my youth and a really beautiful darkly Turkish looking cup of coffee, I mean girl, who was kind enough to pretend she thought I was funny when I know I was dorky-creepy when I was a kid. Fuck, fuck, I’m still dorky-creepy as an adult. But, Oh, My, GOD, she was gorgeous when I was 15 and stupid. Maybe she was just too nice to say anything unkind, for which I love her even more. Wherever you are, Ms. Miller… thank you for not saying it, whatever the reasons. And thank you for adoring me in spite of myself. You are so loved back. In ways you can only imagine, and a few you can’t.

        Liked by 1 person

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