Day 324

I have no idea where she finds the strength and grace to explore and express her heart this way. RIP to another beautiful soul.

It’s World Suicide Prevention Day on the 10th, be at the Meds Cocktail Party any time, light a candle at 8pm, honour and mourn our dead. And if you’re suicidal, tell someone now, see a psychiatrist asap, get your ass to ER, get a dog – and if none of those are workable and you feel like you can’t hold on, try to go slow with it, it’s a huge thing. If you really need to go, know that you will be mourned by your tribe, by us. You are one of us.



He said “Sorry” in his suicide note, “I can’t take this anymore.”
He knew this would be hurtful for me and for others who love him.

What would he want for me now?

He would want me to be happy.
To acknowledge his suffering.
To honour his decision.
To be at peace with myself and with the world around me.
To experience deep joy and satisfaction in everything I do.
To look after myself – eat well, take my medicines in time and exercise regularly.
To continue using Apple and not go back to Microsoft.
To remember all the good times.
To do my best to help others in his position.
To know that I did my best to help him.
To feel good about him and about myself.
To laugh a lot even if he is not here to make me laugh.
To give the love I want to…

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battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

3 thoughts on “Day 324”

  1. This is an intensely beautiful, and heartbreaking post. I have lost 2 of my tribe to suicide. I fear every single day that I will lose another. It’s not about my personal loss, or the devastating grief that comes with it for me that resonates most in my mind. What haunts me the most was the fact that I had never verbally expressed out loud to them that even our worst days together were infinitely better than a single second in this life without them! So even though the day may come where another wonderful soul could leave our lives I have made sure they know these words (whether they believe me or not) have been said out loud over, and over. If you are in a moment where you are even remotely inclined to leave this world please reach out for help, because I can promise you that your existence matters in ways that you are equally unable to understand, as we are equally unable to understand your suffering. Our inability to truly understand your suffering does not ever lessen our immense love for you, or the value you place in our lives! G-uno


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