manic depressive inkdump

(scheduled post)

Every time I see a depiction of the duality of bipolar, I’m disappointed. I don’t even like the word bipolar, that binary description is so wrong – and I know that many of you agree. I wondered what I’d choose to represent it if I wanted to. Now, in terms of those dualities, two of my tattoos fit pretty well, on a number of levels. I love my tattoos, but those two, with their subtle symmetry, possess equilibrium that I’ve never had, do not have and never will have. The bipolar misnomer, well it’s a spectrum isn’t it, maybe even a circle.

Bipolarcoasters

The two faced nature of the beast

Stigma busters

Dopamine and Serotonin

Entropy and equilibrium

Words

Between the words

Everything else

I can’t see myself inking a disease into my skin – any disease – but if I were to add even more bipolar to my body, I’d make my feelings clear…

image

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A little light linking…

My Bipolar Mania – Got Me a New Tattoo [5.8.2015]

Katrina Yellow’s bipolarcoaster
29 tattoos inspired by depression (it’s not often you see the words depression and inspired cuddling up.
Megan Fox explains tattoo removal; Marilyn Monroe ‘was a negative person’ (of course, Marilyn was bipolar. Way to be a bitch, Megan.)

I do not love the following song, but it does contain the words manic depression and tattoo, so it’s happening here anyway.

I am manic depressive
Flipping coins for my fate
Now ain’t that impressive?
Tails you never fail to feel hollow now hush and let the dark swallow
Move a little closer, what are you afraid of
Set the night on fire, baby burn it up
Tattooed on your chest, I.S.S.U.E.S

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Published by

blahpolar

battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

26 thoughts on “manic depressive inkdump”

  1. Pardon for not guessing or just knowing, but which of these are yours, if any? I like tattoos but don’t have any myself. I think they’re daring and wonderful, done well. I prefer dragons to unicorns. But I think if a dragon ate a unicorn it could be puking rainbow cotton candy for a month.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know of someone with a ton of unicorn tattoos. The latest was a unicorn, a bottle and rainbow spew. Brilliant. I have four that are hidden by a shirt. Soon to change.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is just me, but I have the idea of having a symbol of my disorder on my skin (planning to get that semi colon tattoo but not yet because parents) because it gives hope. People love hope. Because it makes us strive and fight and though I think I get where your point abt inking the REALITY of the disorder, I think it would just seem angry but in a way brave foe you to say that it has affected your life in ways that you can’t take back.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I totally respect your views there – and I like the lack of cynicism and the presence of hope. I am irascible and middle aged, so my own views are informed by those things too. There are so many variables, our experiences differ so much (our disorders differ too, bipolar is one word for so many damn things and levels of things).

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Tattoos are sacred for me. Mine are in places where if I want you to see them, I’ll show you. Although at times my wolf’s snout sticks out of the top of my shirt at the shoulder. This has caused people to actually PULL my shirt down almost choking me to see what it is! Strangers! It’s at this point I wish I had a backbone. All that being said I think it’s an art so I probably wouldn’t put anything Bipolar related on myself. My thoughts on Bipolar are dark ones. So unless I go with a dead carcass being circled by a dozen buzzards then I probably wouldn’t. I still have tattoo done prison style from an ex-con. A tribute to Aerosmith and the other was a screaming Eagle. I would love to get 1 more but I don’t think my health will allow it. My niece has her life story in tattoos for everyone to see. Sometimes I get mad seeing my mother’s name on her Double D’s spilling out of her shirt with my the date of my mom’s passing and huge red rose. My mom didn’t like roses. My niece is also Bipolar. She has NANNY in Scrabble tiles tattooed on her for my mom. She has 2 others for my mom that I can’t remember. It’s overkill, guilt and illness. I don’t know whether to smack her or hold her. People use tattoos for many reasons.

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    1. I wish they were sacred for everyone, or at least that they performed important functions and marked rites of passage. I know they’re meaningful for most people, but I’m thinking of things like pure fashion and cultural appropriation. Lol and now I have to remind myself that people’s skin is their own territory and that they can do wtf they want. Now who’s rambling? What’s the prison style tattoo? I’m intrigued. As for tattoos commemorating the dead, I think some people need to remember people in their own way. I have to remind myself of that a lot too. A good friend of my mother’s planted a bed filled with plants my mother didn’t like, I keep rolling my eyes about it and I really don’t need to. The plants grow and she sees them and thinks of my mother and really, it boils down to love in the end. Also, it doesn’t matter.

      Now who’s rambling lol….

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The prison style tattoo was a guitar string and a hand made gun. In prison it would be some kind of wire, the coil stretched out from a lighter in prisons that still allowed smoking. Anywhere they could get thin wire. And ink. Some are not motorized and do the tap tap method which you actually need a lot of talent for. It’s a subject I’m fond of. I’ve studied the world of Russian criminal tattoos and their meanings. So complex it’s unreal. But I do find myself judging others who get branding or scarification. I find it offensive only because it’s done in other countries as part of their culture and it’s done to children. They don’t have a choice, we do. I’m on my soapbox. Family is another thing that triggers an hour long monologue. One of the reasons my sister just hung up on me. lol

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    2. Took three years of thought and finding the right artist to bring the vision of putting my childrens name on my arm. Got my first one at 46. planning on more. Have four now. One is a huge back piece for my soccer club. My addiction.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, Oh!! Megan Fox: its okay to think of Marilyn Monroe as a druggie who overdosed and ink her face all over your arm – but because she struggled with mental illness she’s a negative person… Fuck off you idiot! Sorry – rant over… But some people really just don’t get it at all. We are all still utterly drenched in stigma. I love the guy talking about his inks.. He can’t seem to come up with his words either: yeah, been there, identify with that – ‘Word’ man!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think people just don’t think things all the way through to their logical conclusion. I haven’t written anything specifically about/addressing stigma yet, I think. Must do that at some point.

      Like

  5. My brain crashed and I lost my talkativeness temporarily. Sorry I have not read blogs or left comments in a couple of days. …
    You know how it is….

    I do not see bipolar as a black and white / always one extreme or the other / dual personality thing either.

    It is more like ratios…and for me the extreme anxiety is one of the ingredients. I would also incude paranoia as an ingredient of mine.

    Different days, different
    For ex. 40 depression / 20 paranoia / 30 anxiety /10 mania

    or…60 Depression/ 20 anxiety / 20 paranoia

    …80 ” I can restructure the universe as we know it” hypo mania/ 20 paranoia

    …75 anxiety / 75 paranoia / 50 Depression (yeah…that one doesn’t add up, but to me it exists)

    Anyway it is all ratios of those 4 things. Depression , anxiety, paranoia and hypo manic.

    Of course I forgot the derealization but that is more attributed to PTSD and C PTSD .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ja the ratios idea is a good one. It reminded me instantly of the sliders I use to pinpoints moods etc on my mood tracker app. When the duality is expressed as two faces, it looks too balanced to me, and doesn’t take in the ratios you talked about. It’s like suddenly bipolar is a hard and fast thing, no variables. Maybe it could be shown as a spectrum of expressions the same way they illustrate the phases of the moon. It’d be interesting to see how people would express a facial expression graphically, to show some sort of average of their life’s emotions. Or at least, how they (we) perceived it. (it’d be fascinating to get other people who know us well to do the same thing, but using our faces not theirs).

      Don’t ever apologise about comments etc, I’m barely managing to read blogs at the moment. It’s just how it goes, if any of us were consistent, we would be in this particular corner of the blogosphere.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Must make yet another comment on the roller coasters…Excellent tats and geez! do they look like some of my nightmare roller coasters…Brr. Must agree with gentlekindness on the sliding scale too….Hard to think of times when I wasn’t locked in ambivalence on some level…

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