the discouraging blunder reward

My insincere ingratitude to Morgueticia of the Mood Swings  who bestowed upon me the prestigious Encouraging Thunder award, which exists either to promote flatulence, or to make Thor feel better about himself.

Bl3OtqlCQAA1HF-

Oh dear, he literally can’t spell.

Here are the rules, which as you know, are strictly enforced by the Meme Police… waaait, even the Jazz Police aren’t real, I’m pretty sure the Meme Police aren’t either… Anyway, since my own loyalties lie with the Grammar Police, I’ve mended as well as broken the rules.

offishul logo of blog thingy, yasss
offishul logo of blog thingy, yasss

What you can do with the Encouraging Thunder award. (so aggressive, I’m waiting for someone to say ‘stick it up your cakehole’)
Post it on your blog
Grant other bloggers the award.
What you can’t do with the Encouraging Thunder award. (oops)
Abuse or misuse the logo
Claim that it’s your own handmade logo.
What you should do after receiving the Encouraging Thunder award: (squeal with delight, phone all friends, drink champagne from a lesbian)
Enjoy the award. (exploit groupies scandalously)
At least give thanks via comments and likes and/or mention the blogger who gave you the award.
If iziBongo (Zulu praise poetry) doesn’t seem effusive enough, you have no soul. Especially done by a seven year old.

Mention your purpose in blogging.
Oh how I wish I had a porpoise. Or some poise. I’ve blogged so much about why I blog, that even I am bored to coma levels. I keep the main mission statement and rationale over here, behind those unnecessarily pompous words.
Give them all love by visiting their blogs and showing some appreciation.
P.S. You do not have to accept the award. It is entirely up to you. At least this one doesn’t have a ton of questions to answer and none to make up. (meh; I likes questions I do…)

NOMINEEEEEEEEEEEES!!1!!!!!11!!!

you!!!
you!!!

After a lengthy and equitable process involving a panel of hand selected minorities and a small box of aniseed twists… ah feckit, I nabbed you all because you have such fine asses minds… actually the truth is that you lot are the motormouths who have dominated the past 10 pages of comments. Give yourselves a round of drinks and applause.  Stand back folks, I’m about to ping.

*radar pinnnnnnggggg* you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you, many are called, but few can be arsed to do anything about it…

*drops mic and sorting hat*

blahpolar has left the building.

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blahpolar

battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

49 thoughts on “the discouraging blunder reward”

  1. I’m just thankful you didn’t give me the creepy “I Secretly Wannabe a $cientologist Alongside Cruisevolta Award” OR the “Jesus Christ, Get-A-Life-And-Stop-Using-The Fucking-Middle-Earth-Name-Generator-Award”! ;)

    (I tweeted this link to my minions as I’m bursting with pride, even though I’m only an annoying loquacious “ping”!)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Rofl now that’s a fabulously catchy and concise idea for an award if ever there was one. I like cruisevolta BTW – shades of bennifer and so on.

      I actually wanted to use the word ‘minions’, but then I remembered those freakishly cheerful looking yellow blobs… I haven’t seen Despicable Me and idc how many friends tell me it’s marvellous, those sunshiny ticks give me the creeps.

      Your $cientologist name is Crayon, which is a desperate attempt at morphing your name with Craig’s.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s hard not to write a suitably gushing acceptance comment but I will refrain in case Platrow et al experience a huge bout of jealously…now I just need to figure out what to do with said award :D (secretly I am thrilled; it is up there with the one time I took home the sweets on a Friday after school as I won the most smiley face stickers that week).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Gawd, bipolar brain misreading moment, I thought you took the tweets home that Friday and was genuinely thinking wow, that’s either admirably or repulsive postmodern.

      As for what you should do with it, my vote goes to putting it on the mantlepiece and propping your Xmas cards against it.

      Like

  3. Someone defib me – my heart just stopped…..I can’t believe I got in here to comment in time before the first 50,000 comments arrived within three minutes of your posting! Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am restraining myself valiantly here, from making a really crap joke revolving around the words ‘defib’ and ‘liar’. And bullocks, you get more comments than I do, you freaky teapot of Lothlorien.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I was gonna skip commenting because I know you are buried under the flurry and all..But then I remembered, I’m in my loquacious period of being able to interact and form complete sentences. It could go away at any time and render me a depressive lump of muteness who forgot to feed her pegacorns so the last one devoured me and I shall never comment again…

    I’ll shut up when I’m dead. Or ya know, next mood cycle. Whatevs
    Blunder on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Flurry? Fuck that, I always want your comments, unispork. The pegacorns will share their food with you, not eat you. And they have a classy diet. I know what you mean about the mute, it feels like a freaking heavy cloud.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I clicked every YOU because I am a nosy bitch and lo AND BEHOLD the HAJABSISNSB-SELF APPEARED. I feel like the oceans that parted when Moses crossed (I think it was him I get the names confused.)

    As always you bring 30 rays of sunshine to my cloudy days. Thanks for sharing your mind, your grammar, your SOUL. I missed reading your blog so much I was withdrawaling like when they took Paxil away from me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Okay, I think that I’m stating the obvious, but I might be making an ass of myself yet again
    at Blahpolar Diaries – buy hey, who’s counting how many times I appear foolish? (um, it’s probably 20 times to date, more or less)

    HERE GOES:

    When I read “drink champagne from a lesbian” I wondered….I paused….
    does that mean to drink it from the eight miles wide region? (I guess you’d need to lap it up, or for those not quite so nimble, slurp the tiny bubbles, in any case, not exactly drink it per se)

    Yep, that’s how this manic depressive freaky ass brain thinks!

    And you can make fun of me all you want – I have my sword to give me strength…

    Nilmandra
    (My Age of the Ring name)
    and Gomaling, my trusted sword!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The imbibing of champagne from a lesbian is best achieved by a quick, effervescent and delicious kiss of the French persuasion. I’m shocked that you even contemplated utilising the 8 mile area. That zone provides optimal conditions for further effervescent osculation, which has the purpose of delivering stimulation to the 8 miles in question, rather that treating the dehydration of the effervescer.*

      Cough. Did I really just write all that.

      *i may have invented words where necessary.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I aim to shock! ;) THis is one of your best replies ever. Sorry to make you work so hard on them lately, but damn, it’s so much fun to see what you come up with! You’ll get your break soon, in June (under a full moooooon!) but fuckit, I’m going to go through those damn Blahpolar withdrawals and so will your many other uber-fans! Any way we could beseech you to post just a couple times? (Although God knows you deserve a break! Even though I know you love it!)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I can schedule some crap I guess but plssssss stoppppp with the compliments nao. You’re very kind, but… Just stop lol xxx

          I’m drowning my sorrows in Bizet’s Pearl Fishers and wishing things were as simple as abusing a bottle of Irish whiskey instead. You know that thing where the only person you could ever talk to about whatever, is dead? That’s the fucked up shit that’s passing me right off… Today I’ve been listening to various bits of opera since around lunchtime – it’s 8pm now. Good immersion therapy, I’ve been avoiding it.

          Like

  7. One last comment (gotta keep the tradition of uber-commenting going so I can gather yet more awards even though I will admit I suck and I don’t pass on the love – but you told us that was okay and we wouldn’t go to Hades for our transgressions!)

    PRAY TELL!

    How on Middle Earth are you so darn tootin’ prolific with these blog posts???? Are you ingesting some experimental drug that you must keep top secret? Have you gone to the Dark $ide and taken a long drink of the Cruisevolta Koolaide and as a result, you’ve been bestowed with enough energy to write your own LOTR-esque trilogy?

    I am SO fucking impressed as well as SO fucking jealous of your prolificness (I’m sure that’s not a word), but I am green in a good, happy, shiny way since I luv ya and your writing makes me laugh and think and forget all the shit. Well, I don’t always forgeddaabout da shit, depending on the topic you’ve chosen (WOOOO, there have been some very serious ones), but you get my drift, right?

    Can you tell I’m procrastinating on working out? Fuck. Where’s the espresso shots when you need ’em?

    Like

    1. I’m verbose and I don’t suffer writer’s block, BUT and it really is a big but (yes I know the possibilities I created there), BUT blogging is just me riffing on themes and spewing unplanned words. I did a nawronimo thingy once and I started with 5k words a day, then 1,000 and then it all created and struggled and my denouement was feeble to say the least. Weak plot anyway. So I can write and edit dry, dry topics and do the stream of unconsciousness verbal vomit, but I couldn’t write a book if my life depended on it. I’ve edited books and I know whereof I squeak. Long story short – absolutely no need to be jealous. Yes I’m eloquent and words are like oxygen to me, but I am their bitch and where books are concerned, they’d need to be mine.

      See? Verbose as fuck, too fluid and unnecessarily repetitive. Arrogant but clear sighted and realistic.

      Sweet jebus blah, less of the blah would be blahdy good. Bet you wish you hadn’t asked.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, I’m glad I asked you. Reading your honest reply was lovely. However, I’m still jealous of your talent in a harmless Teletubby type of way! (Wait a minute…wasn’t there a vicious rumor going ’round that Teletubbies were actually connected with the Church of $cientology and they brainwashed wee ones through the airwaves? Yeah, I’ve pretty much lost the plot, my friend. Off for a cuppa #2. Xo I love you and am really going to bum out during your hiatus. I’ll try not to mention it again today. Maybe.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I shall fine you for every typo you make! The fine is that you must write one post for each typo during your “hiatus” that I don’t want you to take! If you can’t pay your fine, then I shall have the $ folks send you their special “kit”. God knows what’s in that free DVD – $ porn?

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Just checked out the link. WOW. Whoa! Leave it to you to find such a (disturbing) goldmine about the freak/softcore porn seller/$/Cruise buddy known as David Miscavige . $ is truly one of the grossest cults ever. :( Yuck. He reminds me of the star of this super-short PSA I grew up hearing…. ewwwwwwww!

            Liked by 1 person

  8. “Good Morning!” said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But Gandalf looked at him from under long bushy eyebrows that stuck out further than the brim of his shady hat.

    “What do you mean?” he said. “Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”

    “All of them at once,” said Bilbo. “And a very fine morning for [an Encouraging Thunder Award].

    Muchas gracias mi corazón. Every time you send some lovely words my way, they weave themselves into a warm, smooshy blanket on their way to Canada. That or they twerk themselves into a frenzy and pump me up :) xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Niiiiice film/book tie in with the award there :D

      Also, many millions of thanks for your words about my words. I wasn’t surprised to hear that they weave, but I did not know about the twerking, I’m going to have to have word with my words about it.

      Liked by 1 person

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