in which I reply to spammers …

Spam spam spam spam spamly spam … that oughta ensure that Google blacklists me.

Negative stereotypes about bipolar and variations on that theme, are still daily search terms, but thankfully, I’m still getting amusing and deranged ones too.

Saint leia
Yup. Princess Leia, patron saint of manic depression

wpid-3368706Become a nun with bipolar disorder
The short answer is, if you’re a christian, you can’t. Either they don’t want moody nuns with extra empathy and the ability to polish the entire nunnery with a handkerchief at least once a year, or they have mistaken the word bipolar for the word batshit. Catholicism … so in tune with postmodern times. Go and become a penguin instead; the uniform is the same and the seafood buffet has to be seen to be believed. Bipolar Nuns || Sister Mary Euthymia

And from sacred to profane in a single bound …

Black painted girls fucking
I’m not sure whether they want white girls painted black (which would be offensive on a coupla levels), or black girls painted other colours (which is still an odd request). You’d probably do better to include lesbians in your search string. And your g-string. I know I would.

Gus van sant cloud motif
I’m guessing that my awed and worshipful collection of Gus van Sant’s tweets disappointed you sorely. Oops. The Tweets of Gus van Sant

c429526c6367bb7913fc258da78d3816f40f4f683bf23d4550148c817473b23cwhere to buy fitflop in singapore
Don’t fucking know, don’t fucking care. Shitflops. Oh, you only wanted one. Shitflop.

I love living my life alone
We’re Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely hearts club band,aren’t we?

Shut the fuck up I got this
And what’s more son, you can fucking keep it.


… and on to the comments incarcerated by Akismet.


As I internet website possessor I believe the content material matter here is rattling magnificent , appreciate it for your hard function. You need to maintain it up forever! Finest of luck.

wpid-57491659Well tally ho, old bean! If I may say so, you’re looking rattlingly magnificent yourself! Of course you appreciate my hard function, little teacake, and you shan’t be the first or last to remark upon it. If, however, you are yet another purveyor of grated rhino horn, I shall ask you to be on your merry way, possibly with a flea in your ear. I have never, sirrah, never required anything more than a brisk bowl of porridge and a cup of stiff upper lip to maintain it up forever. Damn your eyes! Begone with you before I summon the tennis hounds!

I typed that in my best Stephen Fry accent.


Thanks for the blog loaded with so numerous information. Stopping by your blog helped me to get what I was seeking for.

You sought grammar lessons? You came to the right place.

Very ood info. Luckyy me I came across your site
by chance (stumbleupon). I have saved as a favorite
for later!

quote-worried-about-being-a-dull-fellow-you-might-develop-your-talent-for-being-irritating-mason-cooley-41825I adore the line breaks. The piece is instantly elevated from random bot generated crap, to a small yet perfectly formed essay in poetic poignancy. The early introduction of the perplexing word ood (neologism? onomatopoeia?) sets the enigmatic tone of this magnificently sweeping masterpiece. Ood … how is it pronounced? What does it mean? Will it all end in tears? If it does, can I exchange them for beers? Is ood a prosaic defamation or derivation of good or odd? Is our erudite write secretly penning a series of postmodern commentary of … something, beginning at midnight, in the garden of ood and evil? Does he perchance just need one ood man? Will that man be the ood man out? Is he simply attempting to locate the crush zone between ood and bad with a goose feather? Gentle reader, all ood things must come to an end, and so I shall bid thee adieu, or perhaps a fond farewell. *vanishes in a puff of pretentious dialectic*

I have been browsing online more than 3 hours nowadays, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It is lovely value sufficient for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will probably be much more useful than ever before.

All of a sudden my spam turns sycophantic. I love it. How fabulous that I’ve enhanced the entire internet too. *fakes modesty a bit too late*

Without having degree, some sort of crap work that rarely paid us minimum pay, and due to being on academic probation; there is
little I can do with my well being at this point.

Post3-Failure-ImageAlthough I’m an unqualified failure, I know that feel. I have some advice for you; enjoy failure. Think about it.

Medical professional. Real occupational often time inherited technical back combined with advocacy trend were realized any time he turned among the first users of the Exemplary mental health specialist honour far for both the nation’s connections to be able to emotionally bad(Right away the nation’s connections on brain infection) The actual connections to the in your mind dangerous related with philadelphia(Proper without hesitation the nation’s connections on thought ailment relating to philadelphia). He will be a corp initiator attached to Tikvah/AJMI(Supports the actual judaism emotionally not well) An institution repeating recovery focused discussion board add-on from the time 1991 which will thankful her having a 2011 Righteous person’s prize,
diablo 3 gold guide

That must be some good acid. And Diablo 3 sucked haemorrhoids.




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battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

49 thoughts on “in which I reply to spammers …”

            1. What in the world was that person trying to tell you?….brain infection? …mind related with Philadelphia..?
              Can you be “related WITH ” anyone? ..

              to be able to be ” emotionally bad?” ….What the hell is ” emotionally bad” …are we “emotionally misbehaving? ” …damn, maybe we need to be spanked…LOL…
              I think maybe it is the acid…
              I feel like I am becoming more disturbed than usual rereading that comment…..and possibly losing IQ points as well…..You see the more I try to make sense of what that person said, the more I am starting to sound like them….
              It must be the brain infection that is making me emotionally misbehave..

              Liked by 2 people

                    1. I hit enter by mistake…but that proves my point that I was making.

                      I am laying here on my back, in the bed…typing on the cell…Leaving terrible typos all over people’s posts on WordPress. I think the WordPress police should give me a misdemeanor ticket or something

                      Alright I had better arise from the airbed. It is not that comfortable anyway…

                      The laptop is only like, 3 feet away.

                      It is time for me to get up 1 pm

                      Liked by 1 person

  1. Feel better? I guess I am not as magnetic as you because I do not attract as much spam on WordPress and have no problem hitting the old “block” button. Twitter makes me chuckle when I get spammed by followers with nothing but photos of themselves in spandex or vinyl. Always women. I mean if I am going to get spammed with porn can I sign up for my preference? On second thought that would get me homophobic spam.

    Anyone who looks like they are trying to sell me something I don’t want gets blocked. Ah, the power…

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Don’t have a solution for that one, I have had
            plenty of that come down on my head in this life, not from spammers but from my own spawn. Blocking or ignoring doesn’t work. I have decided to try a course of blissful denial for the sake of my mental health, at least for the next few months. :P

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Jaaa I hear you on some levels, though I don’t have spawn. Sharper than a serpent’s tooth is tje ungrateful child … am I quoting/misquoting the bible there … now I have to go look.

              Oops …

              Act 1, Scene 4 of William Shakespeare’s King Lear: “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!”

              Although because it was the name of an episode, Star Trek gets more space on pg1 of Google results than Shakespeare does.

              Theeeeere we go, a nifty distraction from my current bucket-of-shit-without-the-bucket. I do children’s parties too.

              Liked by 2 people

  2. I read this post while I resumed my evening workouts, and your examination of spamination made me forget how feeble I’ve become. (I had to take a break from the elliptical over the past 6 days due to that cold, which SUCKED, but I digress as usual.) I had the girls watch the classic Python bit and they thought it was a tad funny, but mostly bizarre. They don’t appreciate Brit humor yet, but they will.

    My point is – wait a minute, what is my bloody point? Oh yes! If you don’t want me to be a cheerleader/sycophantic nitwit, then you MUST stop writing such hilarious and brilliant posts.
    I’m dead-serious. This was an extra-juicy gem!

    I kept laughing despite feeling like I was going to pass out from the cardiovascular strain. Moreover, I have never seen the “Frypolar” meme, and as S.F. fan, I’ve decided that I no longer have bipolar, but Frypolar.

    I’ve written this before somewhere on Blahpolar Diaries, but I think the word “bipolar” is as bad as “smegma”. (Now, that’s an uber-gross word. Always has been, always will be.) “Bipolar” is just a stupid-sounding word. So boring. As you know, Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, that classy broad, prefers “manic depression”, and while that sounds like the title of a melodramatic mini-series, it’s waaaaay better than….you-know-what. Rhymes with Voldemort.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Bravo amiga mia! Remind me never, ever, to eat popcorn while reading your posts…I almost choked. And I agree with Dyane, this post was so fucking funny. I had this weird old-lady-smoker-wheezing-kinda-laugh. I really enjoyed hanging out with your sense of humour. Give him a hi 5 for me.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Your Diabolo 3 comment got me laughing. Soooo true, what a letdown that was. Thank God I got it free thanks to the gazillions of ££ I have wasted on Blizz over the years. Give me Gauntlet any day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I paid for that /*÷£×/! $£×¥/! $ “game”, if I played twice it was a lot. That was in the UK, now I’m back in SA, bandwidth is an issue and my fucking tv died, which doesn’t bug me as far as tv goes, but does in that I now have an unattached and gormless looking xbox on the shelf and a fuckload of rpg’s that … you get the picture. I am so whiny today.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Have a similar problem except we have the TV and a sorry looking xbox which the dog thought would be fun to knock on the floor and use as a tug of war toy. It’s so annoying! And lame Internet is also highly frustrating. Here is hoping that things improve (although I’m not sure my hopes have much influence with Mr Zuma’s priorities!).

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “That must be some good acid”
    Also an Ood is a life form from another planet, turned up in the “revamped” doctor who series that was subsequently left for dead around 2011 and is now just a merchandise flogging bandwagon. It’s pertinent to the point because they have no voice of their own, they communicate differently and because their voice has been taken away they become subjugated.
    Also did not know you were a Monty Python fan. I did a documentary on my Youtube channel when I went around the castle where they filmed Holy Grail.
    I could spam you the link :P

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ermahgerrrrd of course … the servile and then scary ood … glad you pointed that out and mortified that I forgot ;D you should definitely spam me the link – that’s quality spam, that is. Hit me with your rhythm link.


        1. I expect that whenever they get around to dusting it off, they’ll have the doctors conforming to politically correct ratios of everything. If on that day they alter the gender mix or something of LOTR, I shall emit a short, sharp squeak of grief and implode, leaving only my coal black and broken heart behind me. Oodles of oods … that’d be interesting. And! I did not skip minutes or even seconds of your doccie; it was very cool and also filled with stuff I had no clue about.


  6. Thanks, I finally found a use for my archaeology degree haha.
    I don’t know, I just remember going to a party 5 years ago dressed as the doctor, and everyone was like “oh, you’re one of the assistants to the doctor!” (the theme was time), and I’d made a working K9 and had a 14 foot multicolored scarf and had the coat and my naturally anti-gravity hair, and a sonic goddamn screwdriver, and I just thought, surely the whole point of original Who was that anyone could be anything they liked, and he just so happened to keep coming back as a dude cos he liked the shoes or being able to see at concerts or something, and these days they seem to be doing it because the doctor has to be a white man. I think it was more politically correct in the first place. As for Lord of the Rings, I never noticed how much of a mast fest it was until someone pointed it out – as a kid, I was Frodo. Had a red cape and everything. Then when the newer (OMG they’re like 15 now!!!) films came out I was so taken with Arwen and Legolas.

    Liked by 1 person

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