the effing prestigious blahpolar blog award thingy

Silly Sassfrass nominated me for an award with no rules. I pawed the ground, skipped through a flowery meadow, stopping only to snuggle a llama, and now here I am.

The rules are so mellow that they believe bipolar can be cured by butterflies. Feel free to reject me, my dog and the entire nation of blah by ignoring this award – as long as you’re cool about the ensuing armpit acne that pops up it’s pimply little head within 4.78 days of your failure to comply entirely valid choice. Do what I tell you Feel free to interpret my edicts relaxed rules however you like.

Step right up, using your femurs; you dreamers and screamers and schemers and lemurs and meme-ers, with your misdemeanours in paddle steamers …

nye | blush and do that flapping your hands agitatedly near your chin as though you’re fanning  flames thing.
mbini | prepare an acceptance speech in the style of Sally Field.
ntathu | help yourself to one of the automatically generates handcrafted award images, but only if you feel inclined to do so.
ne | copy my explicit instructions suggestions, if you want to.
ntlanu | insert into and paste on to a fresh new post of your own, if you feel like it.
ntandathu | obey interpret my challenge to you to the letter however you want.
xhenxe | fire a pingback (and by that I mean ‘like to’) at this post if you’d like to ensure my usual bs erudite comments on your post.

20150419045533876Pick one / none / any / many:
tee | describe your first thoughts on waking, in the style of a Raymond Chandler private dick eye.
pêdi | describe the view from your window as though you were imprisoned.
tharo | write a conversation between you and your favourite singer.
nnê | write a poem about your underwear.

And now, *excited rustling of paper and a flirty look exchanged with co host* the nominees are …
Sufferin’ Sassafrass
Dyane ‘potty mouth’ Double-Barrelled Surname – Proudly Bipolar
Donna Spanglishia Quixote – My Spanglish Familia
roughghosts the reviewer
morgueticia ‘smackabitch’ atoms
k ‘gangsta’ bailey

I used my top 6 commenters in order of mouthiness (check stats) to pick nominees, hopefully they’ll be the ones most likely to see this post and might even accept this thingy prestigious award. Also, I love them.

Disclaimer: no unicorns were smacked in the creation of this post.



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battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

60 thoughts on “the effing prestigious blahpolar blog award thingy”

          1. Not nominated! :) Of course since point nnê. Anyway.

            I imititate, but you are not imitatable. To me that is.


      1. It’s a Polish meat stew that is lovely when it’s homemade, otherwise comes from the factory solidified in a glass jar with no seasoning and is made from mostly unidentified offal from unidentified animals. For that taste of home. I was making a bad pun on Smak (the Polish for food) and smack (to hit someone lightly). I got given a jar of Bigos (pronounced big-oss) once by a co-worker. It tasted exactly like that awful smell that comes out of butcher’s shops. Bleeurgh.

        Liked by 1 person

              1. My unicorn farts pink glitter and has the voice of bells. And I don’t even need a leash for her-but you might wanna remove the organic dark chocolate rolled on the legs of lesbians..she’ll bite your a-

                Liked by 2 people

  1. Is there a “for dummies” version of instructions for this thingy? Honestly, I am honored by the nomination (though very disappointed in myself for not being mouthier) but…I’m kind of lost here. Don’t wanna get armpit acne, that’s just gross. The pegacorns might not wanna be my friend anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m honoured by your being honoured by the nomination, but I’m as lost as you and can’t remember wtf I meant at all. I blame lamotrigine.


          1. I did suffer brain damage from a medication meant to make my brain better. Gotta love that one. As the shrink said, “You’re still fairly bright, at least you could afford to lose the IQ points.”
            Um…No. Fuckwit.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. The honour is beyond measure, as I am sure you will appreciate. But I will have to decline the challenge (er, prize). One of your quieter followers can have my spot if so desired. After all, no one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to hear me wax lyrical about my underwear. However fascinating that might be.

    *humbly bows and scurries off the stage*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yay I get a VIP spot on Blah’s blog foreverrrrrrr. And I happily accept the challenge. You are such a sweetheart and very kind. You made my day :-)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Holy SHIT – I accept anything you wish to nominate me for….
    well, except for the “$cientology-Lover of the Year” Award!!!!!
    Or the “Let’s Procreate Like the Batshit-Ugly, Disgusting Duggars” Award! ;)

    I’m so moved! Tra la la!

    with love & irreverence towards anything touched by the $folk,
    Dyane ‘potty mouth’ Double-Barrelled Surname

    p.s. reading this post has been the best part of my day.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. On a totally unrelated note, check out what I wrote in response to this blog post that came up when I did my daily “bipolar” tag search on FreakPress – I know I shouldn’t have commented, but I couldn’t help it. I also think the author’s reply was not very peachy!! Little does she know who she’s dealing with here: the one, the only Dyane “Nutter” Pottymouth the 1st! :


            Liked by 1 person

  5. I just tweeted this link to my 500+ followers, most of whom I don’t know and I don’t follow and I have no idea why they bother to follow me, but who cares!? And is “whom” the right word to use? I’m so tired and lazy that I’m not checking my brain nor online – wait a minute – those two things are really one and the same!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Perhaps I’ll find one of these on Ebay for your upcoming summer birthday:

    ” Fashion Star Fillies by Kenner, designed in 1987, came as pegasi, unicorns, horses and mini-fillies. One, called ‘Princess Growing Hair’, had hair that could grow, and a filly was sold with a carriage.”

    Pegasi! Pegasi? WTF????

    And now I wish to be called “Princess Growing Hair” because that’s the way I roll….or prance!


      1. I have to hear “My Little Pony”music at 6:30 in the morning daily, and that psycho music sticks in my brain worse than any other “tune” you can imagine EXCEPT for the SpongeBob theme song and SpongeBob’s crazy laugh.

        Now, I dare you to play this and listen to it longer than 5 seconds. Can you do that?

        I’ve been tempted to cut off the power to our house (secretly) and tell the girls a tree must have fallen on the line.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I actually have it on right now to see how bad it can get….and OMG – it gets pretty damn bad.

            The writers must have sat together, stoned, with the goal to write the absolute worst “songs” ever, i.e. “We’ve Got Hearts Strong As Horses….. This crap could wake the dead.

            Liked by 1 person

  7. I love elephants. Seriously they are the coolest creatures on earth. Hey, wait, this looks like a custom-designed award. Is this some kind of trick? You probably don’t even know I fucking exist, not that you’d give a rat’s rip. Well, in spite of that, I’m glad you were nominated because I like your blog. Just started following and I’m looking forward to reading more. Keep writing, it doesn’t suck. And if possible, have a fan-fucking-tastic day. Wait, don’t do that unless you want to, and make sure you have your fan’s consent, of course. ::laughs at his own attempt at humor, slinks back to anonymous corner:: At least I saved the damned unicorn from getting smacked.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will admit to a bias towards African elephants (which is logical); every single time I see one I feel all humble and mystical and tie dyed. Magic. I’m astonished every time by their silent footfalls and their noisy bowels. I did not know that you fucking exist, but I do now. I’m not sure i have any rat’s rips to give you, or even wtf a rat’s rip is. Also, I’m not sure that I want to google it. I don’t have fans, I have groupies. Less chill more thrill. My writing doesn’t suck? *obsequiously thankful expressiom* I’m an editor by trade, I’ll be over at your blog to assess it at some point. In a mask and cape, obviously.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. FYI, rats can’t give a rip because they don’t fart (rip) or belch, they can’t, which makes the comment another thinly disguised attempt to be amusing. rat poison works because of that. I agree with your sentiment completely about elephants, again, they are just awesome. “Your writing doesn’t suck” was truly intended as compliment and from what I’ve seen so far, you deserve all the writing awards and compliments you get. I’m a writer and a poet and I hope my writing doesn’t suck either. ~DM

        Liked by 1 person

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