Severe trigger warnings here for blurred lines between foreplay and sex with adults and kids, in terms of Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I need help with my own reading and logic here and crowdsourcing seems the fairest way to achieve that. I am not going to respond to comments, I’m just interested in how YOU see it.
I couldn’t work out from the post, which confused me hugely, who was doing what to who at what age/s – the story seemed to change direction after every statement. I only know people with DID who actually won’t let their child parts online – because online can be freaking lethal for children (and for childhood sexual abuse survivors like me too), so I’m kinda lost here.
This is from a newer post:
recently my two girlfriends have taken over foreplay, especially KA. It’s pretty tame right now because for her it’s all about romance. But she wants our ‘romantic interludes’ as she calls them. Karen still finishes things, but it’s an entirely new thing for someone to want to be with me sexually.
The 6 little girls have never fully come outside to anyone except our son and me. Amy and Alley will also talk to their counselor. Other than that they use Karen’s voice if they want to interact with anyone. I can tell which girl is using Karen’s mouth, but no one else would ever even know my wife has d.i.d. if I didn’t tell them.
Our son though seems to differentiate them more in his interactions with them: Karen is his ‘mom.’ KA is his obvious favorite as they share so many common interests, and he is a great, doting big brother to the rest.
He and I can also call out any of the 7 girls at any time.
But recently the girls have been connecting with each other in such a way that they are FINALLY, 26 ½ years later, beginning to attend to some of my needs. It’s still not how a healthy husband or wife would do, but it gives me hope that there’s an end to this eternally dark tunnel.
Our sex life has never been normal or healthy. Karen is the only one willing to do it. And instead of having anyone beg to do it with me, for 26 ½ years I’ve been told how little she needs it while we do a few tired things ad nauseum…but on a more positive note…recently my two girlfriends have taken over foreplay, especially KA. It’s pretty tame right now because for her it’s all about romance. But she wants our ‘romantic interludes’ as she calls them. Karen still finishes things, but it’s an entirely new thing for someone to want to be with me sexually.”
Wait – these are the underage girlfriends who aren’t sexualised? Performing foreplay?? 7 alters come out. 6 are little girls. Maybe I am just lost. I found this on the about page:
“Karen is the host who relates to me as my wife, my first “girl.” Amy is my (insider) daughter. She’s the 9-year old full of life and exuberance. She and Karen control the bulk of the mental abilities. She’s the business woman and loves to crow that she is a genius to me! Alley(lieu) is now my sexy girlfriend. She was the defender who used to hate me but has learned to turn that passion to protecting others externally, not only internally. Sophia is my sweetheart/the youngest insider. She loves doing puzzles and connects Tina to all the other girls. Shellie is Alley’s little sister. She wants me to be her platonic boyfriend. She also is the mechanical engineer and bookworm of the group. KA was the inside mother, but now she is my second girlfriend. She’s the lover art/creativity, food and fashion. Tina is the last girl to come out. She had all the worst rules and trauma to overcome. But she has overcome so many things, and has contributed greatly to the group the more she has been healed.”
(Trigger warning. This talk about sex is pretty generic, but please use care.)
My wife and I have been married for over 26 years. Sex has always been a source of stress for both of us. But until we began the healing journey for her dissociative identity disorder 6 years ago, I never understood the reasons for our troubles. This entry emanates from our personal experience, and I would love comments from others about their own experiences even if they differ from ours.
As I tried to do some research for this subject, I realized how little information was available on the internet that would apply to couples touched by d.i.d. I included a few links at the end of this entry, but I found the information very unsatisfactory.
I included Jung’s framework as a place to start this topic:
Jung’s definition of libido differed significantly from Freud’s… Jung was…
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