night fragment

It’s four in the morning / the [beginning] of [September] …

Back to an old, old pattern of waking at ten to four, soaked in sweat that smells oddly sweet. Somebody once told me that it’s the smell of lies, but I’ve always associated it with fear.

I’ve been agitated and wakeful at night a lot lately. Sudden spikes of it and absolute physical discomfort; can’t lie down, don’t want to be in my own skin. Once I’ve flexed my rls muscles unhappily and got up and walked a few times, I fall asleep only to be woken by vertigo and shaking like it’s cold (when it isn’t). No idea whether this is lithium or just me, it’s still far better than nights on seroquel.

The younger dog lies next to me, sleeping steadily, steadying me.


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battlescarred, bright, bewildered, bent, blue & bipolar

17 thoughts on “night fragment”

  1. Not sure what to make of this. I sometimes wonder if we become so concerned about drug effects or mental health symptoms that we might over analyze when in fact it is a cold or flu. Hopefully this passes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep positive pal. Almost finished reading ‘His Bright Light’, and read good about Lithium. :-)

    I was up from 4 too, after managing to sleep only at 00. I oft call them sleeping night shifts. Nothing sure to compare but hey, u had some company thousand of miles away :-)

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  3. Hated seroquel. Slept constantly. Cannot take more than 600mg of lithium or I shake all the time, but it seems to work the best for me. I have never been able to sleep at night. Sorry for your sleep problems. -CC

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          1. No, the lithium never has helped me sleep. I cannot even take the lowest recommended dose of 900mg though as I said or I get the intentional tremors. So I only take 600mg. But that helps me enough for me. I have always had trouble at night with anxiety, and been a night person. I can see it maybe messing up your sleep cycle though, as I have tried the higher dosages. But I am very sensitive to medications and side effects.

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  4. I think your symptoms are due to lithium. I know someone who had that ‘can’t be in my own skin’ feeling when she started Lithium. I can tell you I had that sweet smelling sweatiness. It’s revolting. I would sweat right through my pajamas and into my bed linen. Soaked. I would also shiver as if I was freezing cold, but I wasn’t cold. I bought lots of new pajamas so I could do a quick change in the middle of the night. Vertigo, yep, that too, but I got it during the day. No aching muscles though but maybe google this, I’m sure last week when I saw Dr S she told me to increase my salt intake for aching muscles. I’m sure she said that to me. As for sleeping, I’ve always taken trepiline and a sleeping tablet, so can’t comment on sleep and lithium. Sorry my friend. This is the tough part. But it will, hopefully, be worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahhhh brilliant – thanks so so much for that, it’s really helpful and reassuring. Still waiting for le psych to let me know when/how to increase the dose. Had a mini meltdown today, but it’s all ok now. Hope you’re ok too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad its reassured you :) I’m sure you had a meltdown. Anyone would when strange things are happening to their body. The psych’s kind of brush over the side effects, and then when they happen its alarming. Try to keep going. Like I said, lithium was my saving grace. I’m good thanks. Got my trial on Wed so I’ve been pretty inside my head and jittery. Can’t wait for it all to be over. Sleep well my friend, I hope you have a peaceful night :)

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          1. Thanks my friend. Bit of a funny story about lithium dizzy – a few years back now, but I went with my boss in her car to the shop for groceries. I was fine until the motion of the car. I managed to contain myself on the way there, but coming back, heeheehee, she had to pull the car onto the pavement so I could, ahem, be sick. FOUR times in about 10kms. Me reassuring her each time “I’m fine, I’m fine, really, I’m fine”. Extremely embarrassing! On a good note, she thought I was so gravely ill she dropped me off at home and told me to take it easy. Thanks for the good wishes. I can’t wait for it all to be over :D


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