It’s four in the morning / the [beginning] of [September] …
Back to an old, old pattern of waking at ten to four, soaked in sweat that smells oddly sweet. Somebody once told me that it’s the smell of lies, but I’ve always associated it with fear.
I’ve been agitated and wakeful at night a lot lately. Sudden spikes of it and absolute physical discomfort; can’t lie down, don’t want to be in my own skin. Once I’ve flexed my rls muscles unhappily and got up and walked a few times, I fall asleep only to be woken by vertigo and shaking like it’s cold (when it isn’t). No idea whether this is lithium or just me, it’s still far better than nights on seroquel.
The younger dog lies next to me, sleeping steadily, steadying me.