Itchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Up at midnight to aim a hot shower at suddenly sore back and scrrrrrratchhhhhhh all over, cunningly disguised as washing. Alternately clenching my jaw and gurning like a MaDMAn …. feeling sick, sore, scratchy and of course it’s all minor.
Grrrumble whinge whine bitch moan …
When I win the lottery, I’m going to buy a psychiatrist and it will be my bitch. It will pander to me 24/7 – every mood shift, every symptom and side effect. It will be epic.
Me: *imperious ringing of pavlovian bell/cellphone*
It: (scurrying) Y-y-yes, your lowness?
Me: (petulant) I am ITCHY!
It: (stricken) I’ll get Kristin Scott Thomas, a vat of lotion and a paintbrush right away, your lowness!
Etcetera.
blahpolar 
Ohhhh I like that idea of having my very own psychiatrist!!! You’re brilliant.
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\○/
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have you consider taking one of those sticks that have a plastic hand attached in one side and allows you to enjoy scratching?
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Good idea, will have to improvise something.
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Sorry about the itches man, try to find something to distract you some pale minutes n
Before the next series
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Thanks :)
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I love the psychiatrist idea, too. Also that the psychiatrist doesn’t get a human pronoun. Now why Kristin Scott Thomas? Is that a film reference for a movie I haven’t seen? Personally,I’d opt for Scarlett Johanssen in her Black Widow outfit!
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Nah no film ref there :))
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Totally Johannssen.
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For the lotion. I don’t want a hot psychiatrist so you guys are welcome to SJ.
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Oooh a personal psychiatrist. Mine would be… Julianne Moore! No, wait… Christina Kendrick… No, wait, they are both poor choices. No attention would be paid to actual psychiatry….
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The personal psychiatrist is and epic idea. I, too, will aspire to such luxury now that ou’ve put it in my brain.
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I can’t decide if I want it to wear a uniform.
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If it’s a dude, defiantly corporate casual or long sleeve shirt, slacks and tie. Don’t really care what a chick wears.
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oh my god, i clench my teeth too. my dentist noticed it first when i had cracks in my teeth!! is this from mania?!
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Dunno, but it makes sense to me that it might be.
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So a year later and still clenching. I ended up getting Botox in my jaw. Worked a treat!
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yeah my teeth started cracking and my dentist made me wear an appliance to protect them, fat lot of good it did when the same dentist described my childhood dentist as a sloppy bricklayer and my old fillings were causing me to have dental problems, and now I have a third dentist and my teeth are cracking and the old fillings are falling out not necessarily in that order.
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just thought about his word (not mine) “appliance” and pictured myself with a washing machine in my mouth. I’d much rather have a refrigerator.
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